Short & Sweet

31/05/200931/05/2009 crystaltippsLeave a comment

I’m doing exams. Yaaaay! Not. Except, maybe it should be yaaaaay, because in 13 short days I get my freedom and a summer packed full of fun (hopefully) and change (definitely).

So here we go: short and sweet.

I’ve done a bit of redecoration with the site this month…the poll on the right is where you can tell me if I’ve made the right choice or not by going all scarlet woman on your asses! Ok, I just chose the same colour as my nail polish if I’m being honest here.

I’m ever the recycler, sooooo lets hear what I thought of The Wire back on May 15th when I sent this email to an unnamed music publication:

“The Wire is a massive in-joke.

I actually think said Wire is an allegory alluding to the metal garden implements which non Wire fans will all eventually use to end the lives of those who persists in labelling said ‘gritty and unmissable’ drama as errrm ‘truly unmissable’ and ‘totally gritty’, as though they were born with a copy of the Daily Mail’s Weekend magazine in their mouth.

And…breathe.”

I guess I just have a fear of time moving on without me…new crazes and hit TV programmes and nail polish colours which I have yet to try and will therefore brand hideous and so last season in order to appear the belle du jour. Take Gossip Girl. Tried the book – didn’t like it much so didn’t finish it. Whilst I’m wondering whether to dare to wear a denim jacket to a festival with new booties a la Kate Moss or Daisy Lowe or someone, other girls are watching GG.

”]I’m not. So I brand GG “a poor girl’s [name of programme I am watching], and move on. Bad move, because next week people are swooning over Ed Westwick. I swoon as well, and start to wonder if GG is not a bad programme after all. I watch a little . It’s a bit of fun. Leighton Meester’s parents were drug smugglers according to Wiki. She is the ‘new’ underdog TV beauty…and I am about two years late.

____________________________________________________________________________

Villain of the month: Why Barrymore is not my kind of person:

You might think this is a harsh way to start anything.Too subjective, too personal, too much of a bad pun. Why not pick on some of the other villainous creatures clogging up rehab centres in Copacabana? Have I ever met the man? No. Fortunately. But Susan Boyle has, and she is an incredibly talented individual. Britain’s Got Talent is usually a show which I stay well away from. I hate tacky programming BUT in a time of recession, male MPs claiming for tampons and such, SuBo and co. have provided some great entertainment. No, she didn’t win, but she will still have an amazing career in musical theatre, that I am certain of. As a great lover of BGT and musicals and therefore, SuBo, I was incensed to see the clip below. Yes, it was a long time ago. But Michael Barrymore is still a first class idiot for the way he acted when he ‘discovered’ Susan, who could’ve long been a star if it wasn’t for the arrogance of jumped-up tv ‘personalities’ like himself.

____________________________________________________________________________

Hero of the month: How I was saved from agony by a pair of…

My friend’s Plimsolls. They’re having a renaissance among women, as I’ve noticed lately. However, I’m a fool, and chose to ignore this trend and wear heels to a party that ended up circumventing around a park. Luckily said friend is a boy, and they know everything. Said plimsolls were worn from that point onwards, and blisters were less inflamed than usual.

____________________________________________________________________________

Eye-candy of the month: Channing Tatum

I think the chavtastic gif says it all. Channing Tatum has been claimed by them since we first saw him play the chauvanist but loveable hunk with a feminine side in Step Up. Went to see this guy in “Fighting” last (Orange) Wednesday. Bad film to say the least…token Hispanic girl played by a woman who I have seen play plenty of token Hispanic girls didn’t even brighten up the film on which I later Tweeted:

Fighting is a rip off of the classic violent underdog tale. Wooden and stunted plotless melee.

He gets the pity vote for eye-candy of the month, purely because he used to model for A&F and has obviously been taking acting classes at the same place as his cynical Senorita.

____________________________________________________________________________

Adios…next time i’ll make it truly short and sweet when I blog about more music, more lifestyle and more awful films.

x x x x

My big April adventure

30/04/200903/05/2009 crystaltippsLeave a comment

…And here you were thinking I was overaxaggerating. I might not have been raised by animals to sing Disney songs this

month, BUT I did have a great month regardless. My new nickname is Mowgli – given by a dear friend but disliked nonetheless. Why can’t a girl be a bit free with her massive curly hair and poor make-up regime, without being compared to a fictional eunuch, eh?

Anyhow, I digress: this month I appeared on the popular BBC programme Question Time, which was a laugh-and-a-half

…okay, it was a serious show featuring political prowess BUT it was as close to TV fame as I’m gonna get now that Jungle Run is a distant memory. I always wanted a bike/scooter/Gameboy colour.

Question Time was a great experience, and one that I won’t forget in a hurry despite not getting my massive gob on TV. And I met David Dimbleby (legend) who listened to my views on the control of policing despite being on his way off to the pub 🙂

Click here to watch the episode…and watch out for my masses of hair…

X women at the X crawl/bad attempt at timely Marvel pun?

artrocker ←

Anyways, this month I also went down to the Camden X Crawl for the lovely Artrocker.tv. You can read all about my exploits with my great friend Cathryn Innocent of Cathryn photography here. The X Crawl was a great event, hence my piece, and great photos like this poser with My Passion bassist and general sweetheart Simon Rowlands ↓

I have now decided, however, that based on that experience I am never leaving home sans pen, paper and BlackBerry ever again, having made a crazeee dash to Sainsbury’s for interviewing supplies. Once and never again…I had difficulty self-scanning my items, as always…

Just to reiterate, click above for the article and read ALL ABOUT IT. 🙂

____________________________________________________________________________

Here’s a humorous picture of me to lighten the mood of this thoroughly disjointed entry:

Shall I go blonde? Hmmm…either way, dressing as Alice In Wonderland for my friend Emily’s birthday party (British themed) was a true eye-opener to the great hair debate. Suddenly I was crazily energetic and ca hannahcathrynalice refree…no longer a sensible, coy brunette…

Actually, I think I look a bit like Dolly Parton myself…

I feel slightly lazy today due to flu (not of the swine variety, hopefully), so here’s something I cooked up earlier, a review of Mad Men, a show which I love so dearly. It’s in a classy font, and not-so-subtly followed by pictures of this month’s ‘Old Man Crush’, Jon Hamm. It’s a fantastic show – BBC4, 10pm, Tuesdays are the place to be for the vintage stuff (which unfortunately has to end next week as the magnificent 2nd season draws to a close)…

Truly MADly Deeply

Mutually Assured Delight has swept over my TV screen, as I’ve prepared to stage some wholly pretentious conversations about advertising, glamour and aestheticism. Yes, I’ve been watching Mad Men for all of twelve weeks, and I’m gripped.

Dapper men (such as the gorgeous protagonist Don Draper, played by Jon Hamm), Brycreemed to the max and trying it on with their secretaries, their clients’ wives or whoever happens to be nearest to the Xerox: check. The underappreciated wives; neglected whilst their husbands devise great copy for Clearasil, or ‘spend a little time’ with the aforementioned floozies: check. The deficient 2.4 children, putting the nuclear into nuclear family, making cocktails for mummy and daddy, and being berated in a terrific style for asking such uncouth classics as “are we rich?” Check.

Mad Men has stolen my Tuesday nights and transported them into a bourgeoisie world, which smells of smoke and sex and classy instrumentals. It honestly looks like a real 1980s made-for-tv-movie set in the 50s; such is the realism, the costumery and the expert camerawork. Mad Men is the truth behind both the tension and allure of the office, and I would give anything to be part of a fantasy which includes Elnett in a starring role.

—

Old Man Crush status = in progress.

Stuff I like this month:

1 – Lush beauty stuff – nuff said. It’s LUSHious. and most of the products look like fudge…

2 – Festivals – counting down the days to Reading ’09!

3 – Afghani food – for the world food lover

4- My new banner, which is slightly stretched but very beautiful:

AND,

STUFF I DONT!

1 – Exams. I know that’s a stupid thing to say because we all NEED qualifications, but its the stress and hypochrondria that gets me!

2 – Swine flu. Just ‘cos.

3 – Weird coldcallers. You know who you are! I’ll ave ya for dinner!

hannahsig1

x x x x

Ken Kobayashi: Play that funky, grime-y, dubby…

31/03/200931/03/2009 crystaltipps1 Comment

Dear friends, frenemies, and casual readers: this month’s issue (Mar/Apr) is focused on music, not least because I have managed to nab rising indie-pop singer/songwriter and general rainbow of joy Ken Kobayashi for a bit of an interview… there’s also a smattering of stuff arriving in the F.U.N Directory page in the next day or so, so keep your eyes on hannahjdavies.com!

x x x x

___________________________________________________________________________

Ken Kobayashi is not only a friend of mine but also the artist behind the album My Big Foot Over The Sky, currently available through his MySpace page for purchase as an EP, and via iTunes for download!! Or, try before you buy and listen to the whole album here on Ken’s official website!

*************************************************************************************************

Hannah J Davies: You seem to have created something which is such a great listen that I’m having trouble putting into one category or another. It’s a bit like you’ve taken the idea of Air’s song ‘Alone In Kyoto’, spanned it in a washing machine with a keyboard, added a few scoops of so-called ‘indie guitar’ and hung it out to dry on a summer’s afternoon. Is this a fair analysis or can you do better?

Ken Kobayashi: Hahaha. That’s good way of putting it…I’ve always liked artists who mix different genres and who develop new music. I am glad to hear that I’ve done that too, and yes, Indie music and Air are certainly key influences in the album. I’m not sure about putting a keyboard into a washing machine, but I like the pictures your mind comes up with.

HJD: Thanks, actually for anyone reading this, don’t put your Casio in the machine! Anyhow, has the fact that both of your parents have been involved in the music industry had an impact on you? [Ken’s parents have been successful recording artists in their own right]. Essentially, do you feel under pressure to produce deep, avant-garde music rather than disposable pop because of your parents’ influence? Can you see yourself performing at more commercial events, doing sponsorship deals etc. if you hit the big time?

KK: No I don’t feel under pressure. My parents weren’t that famous as musicians, [in the UK] so I’m definitely able to take things easier than, let’s say Sean Lennon. Also I am happy that my parents’ music is quite different from what I do. It’s more interesting that way, and I hope my music is not “disposable pop”, regardless of who my parents are.

On your last point: look at Johnny Rotten. When I recently saw him in an advert for (Country Life) butter, it was hard to believe that he was among the pioneers of punk. Let’s face it, musicians are people like everyone else, and they will take the money – depending how good the offer is, of course – no matter how deep or undeep their music is.

Johnny’s not-so-rotten commercialism:

HJD: Indeed…I understand that you grew up in London, Tokyo and Berlin, which must have been quite an experience. Where did you draw your musical influences from in these (incredible) cities?

KK: It was a challenging experience. I was born in London and I’ve spent most of my life here. So lots of my influences come from what I’ve heard in London. But it was not like I was literally listening to Japanese music when I was in Japan and German music when I was in Germany.I think it’s more complex than that.

But of course it made me happy when I found good artists from Germany or Japan, because relating to these countries is also a part of my heritage. It’s hard to determine exactly which people, artists, literary figures and other things have specifically influenced me….but hopefully people get the multicultural feeling when they listen to my music. I would enjoy that.

HJD: Where does the title for your debut album, ‘My Big Foot Over The Sky’ come from? It sounds almost religious?

Hahaha. It doesn’t mean anything! I was talking to a friend about the album title and I said “something surreal would be cool….like “my big foot over the sky””, and he said, “that’s actually a good album title”. So it became the title.

HJD: Nice story, I think you’re friend should get some royalties…

On the topic of people, who – musically or otherwise – has been your biggest inspiration to become a musician?

KK: I guess all the artists I liked when I grew up….artists like The Beta Band, Number Girl, Chemical Brothers Oasis, Beck, Air, Asian Dub Foundation. They made me want to become a musician. I really liked their music – they made my childhood so much better. Music always has been important to me. So I started to hope I could provide the same positive feeling to other people by making music.

Mr Ben – Ken Kobayashi

HJD: Positivity seems to be the undertone to your song Mr Ben (which chronicles the life of a city worker in need of a break from his mundane life of ‘going to the Underground’). It even seems a fitting anthem to the current economic recession? Has coupling your musical career with your university studies been stressful for you as well at times?

KK: That’s a funny remark! Hmm….well Mr. Ben is certainly stressed out, but for me the main point in the song is his feeling of being “lost” or “confused” in his daily life, which happens to many people at certain stages of their life. I enjoy what I am doing at the moment, and I know what I want to do in the near future. So in that sense I feel quite different from Mr. Ben…at least for now.

HJD: Who would be your ideal artists to collaborate with, and what would you say if they are reading this?

KK: I know quite a few very talented musicians in London who are also nice people, like The Thirst, The Duloks, Perfect People, Tin Can Telephone, Hanjiro and so on. It would be great to do something with any of them.

HJD: Well the version of ‘Karaoke’ you performed at your album launch with Mira from The Duloks was very good, so a side-project would be great!

Obviously it matters what your fans and critics think, but how would you sum up your debut album in 10 words or less…?

KK: Punky, grime-y, dubby, New-waveish, broken drum and bassy electronica.

HJD: You write all of your own songs. Do you find the writing process difficult sometimes? Where do you get your ideas from mostly?

KK: It wasn’t difficult nor was it easy. I played some chords on the guitar and whenever a catchy melody came into my head (and my mouth), I recorded it and later produced it. I think I need to learn music theory to write more stuff though.

HJD: Now for my ‘wildcard’, as I’ve actually been been dying to know…what exactly is a ‘Magic Jar’? Is it a metaphor or would it be possible for you to draw it for me?

KK: Hahaha. I wrote the song originally in Japanese and used the word “mahoubin” in the song, which refers to a thermos bottle for drinking hot tea or hot chocolate outdoors. “Mahoubin” literally translates as“Magic Jar”, and I thought magic jar sounded better than “Thermos Bottle” or “Vacuum Flask”.

Its magic, you know... — It's magic, you know...

HJD: It certainly does! You’ve played a lot of gigs over the past year, where has been your most memorable gig and why?

KK: Last year was a very good year for my band and me. After we formed as a group, we played many shows. I’d never played that many gigs in one year. I think that the best gig was the launch party for the album, which was in February. There were three fantastic bands playing for me. Lots of people came and the atmosphere was great. I’m very happy I was able to organize the event, and I was probably one of the happiest people on Earth that evening.

HJD: It really was a great night, with support from the aforementioned Thirst, Hanjiro and Telegrams. You play live as ‘Ken Kobayashi and Friends’ with a band despite being a soloist. Are your bandmates also looking to form solo/band musical careers themselves, or are they happy to be part of team Kobayashi for now?

KK: I recorded most of the album on my own. But when it came to playing shows, obviously it would have been boring to do it alone on stage. So I asked some of my friends to join me. I’m really thankful to my band members, because they’ve spent a lot of time on this project and we have really had a good time. All of my band members have cool solo stuff, so you can find them on my top friends list on MySpace. But yes, we’ll continue to play as “Ken Kobayashi and Friends” for a while because now the album is out.

Living it on my own: Ken Kobayashi in a rare solo image...the band were somewhere, though! Image credit: Jules Nandra. — Living it on my own: Ken Kobayashi in a rare solo image...the band were somewhere, though! Image: Jules Nandra.

HJD: Finally, if I told you tomorrow that you couldn’t be a musician anymore, what career would you plump for instead?

KK: Hmm….I have no idea. Well the good thing about music is that you can always do it, professionally or not. And with things like MySpace and Youtube you can distribute your music easily today. So I will be doing this all of my life…even if you tell me not to!

*************************************************************************************************

The Lady Is a Tramp

28/02/200903/03/2009 crystaltippsLeave a comment

…sang Lily Allen back in December when she appeared with other ‘celebs’ to see the new year in with Jools Holland. Was she singing about a certain ‘Lady’, or simply reciting a song chosen by her mangagement, is the baffling question which I would now love to disect, whether or not you actually care 🙂

A TALE OF TWO CITIES (AND THEIR DAHLINGS):

In the blue corner, LDN’s Tesco-Alfresco Finest, Lily Allen…

The obligatory fairytale: Once upon a time, an unconvincing indie ‘grimesterrrrr’ turned into an unconvincing LA dahling. First propelled to fame by daddy dearest after enjoying a supposedly awful unbringing, said ‘grimesterrrrr’ turned being a brat into her career.

Likes to… : Cringeworthily cry about how fat, ugly and talentless she is via MySpace like a 13 year old emo, cuss down other female celebrities, play dress up at boutiques, complain about ‘old men’ stalking her with ‘long-lens cameras’. Firstly, zoom is usually not a good thing (see Now’s ‘Circle of Shame’ etc…you know…VPLs, sweat patches, cellulite, etc). Secondly, not all paparazzi are old. In fact, some are young and date celebrities (admittedly only sleazy ones like Britney’s ex Adnan Ghalib…)

Most likely to say: I’m just a normal lundun gal, honest…ooh but Chanel shoes are amazing!!

In the red corner, LA-LA land fruit-loop Lady GaGa (1)…see also GaGa – (2) – noun, a liar or an impersonator, i.e.: Lily Allen pulled a GaGa last week…

The obligatory fairytale: There was once a singer who seemed to be the poster girl for post op success. In fact, she was a woman, but besides that she was totally fake, so much so that everything from her long ‘platinum’ hair (read: ‘peroxide and hair extension partayy’) to her KKK-at-Christmas costume (see right) may have made people assume she was once Little Mr Riding hood… Or in a No Doubt tribute band…

Likes to… : Party, presumably? She went to school with Paris Hilton, which seems to say a lot about this Lady’s attitude. ‘Just Dance’ definitely doesn’t ask to be followed with the words ‘but it’s 3am and I’m too tired!!’ I imagine that she practices her moves whilst doing ordinary stuff like say…walking over men wearing stilletos and busting into random houses (this didn’t take much of the video to said song to asscertain..)

Most likely to say: “Just Dance”, “Just Drink…Probably No Rohypnol In There”, “Just Get In The Kiddies’ Paddling Pool And Ride Shamu With Me”, “Just Rent Some Friends For The Night”…

HERE WE GO…

Hannahjdavies.com takes an indepth look at the two high-living ‘heirheads’…:

It’s always been okay to have multiple occupations. Unless your name really is Martine McCutcheon, then you can be a singer moonlighting as an actress and vice versa; a reality TV star turned perfumer turned writer; you can even be famous just for the size of your assets, whether they’re paper, bricks or simply silicone. However, projecting an image of classiness and professional standard is always advised, first and foremost. How can one talk about money in the press let alone brag about a bank balance which makes Miley Cyrus’ paycheque look like child abuse?

1. Ange's pouty lips and hot hair scream smouldering screen siren, rather than just screaming like a siren

The trick is not to go in for all out P-O-S-H, whether you were born so or have recently acquired your squillions (the idea being that one obviously didn’t go to finishing school in Switzerland if one feels the need to prefix her name with a word with makes the real aristocracy cringe, (right Vickaaaay Beckham?) and if one did, then one obviously didn’t take much away from their education other than a Blackberry crammed full of viscounts and heiresses Pins…)

2. Paris shows that showing off isnt always necessary, in a £30 dress from Brit store Dorothy Perkins... — 2. Paris shows that showing off isn't always necessary, in a £30 dress from Brit store Dorothy Perkins...

Anyhow, I digress. The idea is to hint to a life well lived rather then advertise it, neon sign and all. The Cuban cigars in the ashtray and the red soles of your Louboutins will tell your illustrious story without the ‘umms’, ‘likes’ and references to that ‘thing’ you had with Russell Brand.

(Not unless that actually IS the story…take note 2008’s Georgina Bailie (aka Andrew Sach’s granddaughter)).

Basically, it’s all about “keeping it real”…or giving the illusion that you’ve kept it real. Nouveau riche is a brassy and un-classy look, and, having heaped a title onto herself, I expected so much more from one such madame.

US export Lady GaGa – real name Joanne Stefani Germanotta – not only went to school with and dresses like Donatella Versace but also sings, quite repetitively, of her obsession with money (see “Money Honey”), fame (not just on title track “The Fame”), the paparazzi (eponymous ditty “Paparazzi” says it all), men (“Boys, Boys, Boys”), champagne (name checked a fair few times) and Hollywood (I just couldn’t listen to anymore of this pretentious twaddle by then, sorry).

Hearing her repeat “we’re beautiful and dirty rich” over and over again without a hint of sarcasm or irony or modesty or gratitude is quite depressing, honestly. In times of economic struggle, GaGa’s material obsession seems to amount to little substance. In fact, I think if you left this Stefani in a petri dish overnight, then maybe she would dissolve into a perfectly formed mountain of glitter.

I say this simply because she is glamourous, shiny and overtly sexual, yet totally and utterly boring. There’s less lyrical depth than the previously mentioned paddling pool on “The Fame”, and the title was annoyingly etched into her fly-eye glasses on the cover (because rich people do stupid things like that, surely?)

A true child of the mid-80s, she unfortunately still appears to erk back to a time when stress meant glamour, glamour meant money and money meant financial security and happiness in the bottom of an expensive bottle.

Oddly enough, the next single to hit (and consequently inflict GB onto) my ears after “Just Dance” (translation: Christina Aguliera rip-off writhes around and commands us to follow her in doing so for a tiring 4:10), was Lily’s latest, “The Fear”, from her new album “It’s Not Me, It’s You”. It is catchier than anything from the GaGa stable, yet annoyingly it is just another song about flashing the cash (and I mean this literally – in the video Lily parades around with dancing hotel staff à la Rick Astley). As for the astronomical amount of swearing which fag-ash Lil manages to pack into this 3:45 homage to money (and Gordon Ramsay?), I was totally appalled. That and her moronic, hopefully ironic, lyrics about learning that people die whilst mining diamonds. Did she bunk all of her Citizenship lessons, one has to wonder?

Being two girls who enjoyed privileged upbringings to say the least, both Lady GaGa and Lily Allen are doing a fantastically unconvincing job of sounding like the aforementioned grimy, dirty gold diggers, and are identical in every way, from their blunt eye-skimming fringes and hair extensions to their piss-poor lyrics.

I’d rather have real chavs turned princesses any day.

In fact, here’s the real winner:

x x x x

Watching: Mad Men…I sense an upcoming feature about this amazing show…

Activity of the week month: Tweeting about various things, which is totally not egocentric whatsoever.

Listening to: the sound of my own voice. N*Sync (no lie).

I’m Back In The World…

31/01/200931/01/2009 crystaltipps1 Comment

…of Hannahjdavies.com. Sigh in relief, breathe deeply, sigh again. Read 🙂 How I’ve missed writing! I’ll be back on February 16th (yes, double dose this month), in a collaboration with the photographer from the feature below!!:

– INNOCENT IN AN INNER CITY SENSE

Hope you’re well…I certainly am! Yesterday was spent adding 98 – yes, 98 – obscure songs to my iPod from Nick Drake to *NSYNC, whilst today I became a model-cum-photography-assistant whilst helping the fabulous Cathryn Photography to comprise a set which I nicknamed ‘Playtime’ because we had regressed towards the swings, roundabouts and monkey bars of a park we often frequented in our time of extreme youth.

It was incredibly cold, despite the little glimmers of sunlight of which were bouncing off Cathryn’s lense. She’s a newbie on the scene, but you wouldn’t guess it – the way she squints whilst looking for the perfect shot and occasionally gives us our marching orders is throughly Vogue. She has comprimised a mental list of some shots, utlising props such as a copy of To Kill A Mockingbird and a satin cushion. Model one (but hardly Models One) is me, and I’m dressed in an attire which pages homage to punk rock and Ronald McDonald (yes, as it is an FAQ that is my real hair).

Rachel – model two – was styled more like an abandoned prom night date/Fred Perry employee, but still managed to look gorgeously waif-like. She has the kind of toussled curls which are the envy of GHD users everywhere, unfortunately for me. The wind keeps lashing my curls across my eyes (ouch!) and mouth (sticky, eww) but the shoot still turns out to be rather fun, and an eye-opener to the predicaments of a model.

Pout or smile?

Lipstick or gloss?

To the left….or to the right?

It’s enough to make me reach of a bottle of (Laura) Bailey’s…

____________________________________________________________________________________________

-DON’T CHA WISH YA GIRLFRIEND WAS A FREAK MACHINE LIKE ME? PROBS NOT.

On another note, here is the amazing ‘Freak Machine’ by The 9000…and if you look very closely at around 1:55 you’ll spot me on the right. This was my first – and possibly last – experience of being in a music video, and it is a pretty damn good one. Like Daft Punk, Justice, etc? Then check this out…and be sure to laugh at our super slow facial movements:

____________________________________________________________________________________________

– KEN KOBAYASHI’S AMAZING ALBUM!!

I received a jiffy bag this week, and inside was a pre-release copy of ‘My Big Foot Over The Sky’ by the wonderful Ken Kobayashi. Of course, I’ve played it half to death, put it onto my ancient iPod and choreographed a dance to it which would make the Beyonce team’s eyes water, and am aching to tell you all about it next month! Expect not even a soupcon of malice towards this record from me, basically…

____________________________________________________________________________________________

-FASHION UPDATE: Han’o’Meter

Tarts – Bare legs, long boots, a cami, shorts and a kaftan. In the middle of winter. Our thermostats have obviously been installed in America mode with Barack Obama now King of The World. Chavvy.

Tartan – still doing it for me, even after a cold winter. Just don’t team clashing tartans or put tartan with its younger brother, check…you might look like one of those twins from Skins…

Primark – ‘slave labour’ from Manchester to Mumbai. Seams that come apart after a few days. Itchy cloth. Shoplifting year 7s. Uncool.

Primates – Konnie Huq’s voice as she introduces us to Zoo Days on Channel 5. Makes Beanie Babies look passé tbh…

Squeaky doors – lubrication for the nation…please??

Sliding Doors – just everything about chance meeting sets my heart a flutter and restores my faith in humanity. I’ve been saved from verbal abuse by a lionheart in Lyle and Scott, and even got a free lolly from a neighbour I’d never met. Oh, and I appeared in a music video cos I was in the right place at the right time…

Skins – dodgier than a week old kebab… stay away unless you want to catch the mental equivelent of salmonella.

Skin – it feels really nice with a light spritz of Body Shop’s coconut oil cream…except I keep wanting to lick my arms.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

GRANDES BISES, REMEMBER TO CHECK BACK ON FEBRUARY 16TH FOR MORE!

x x x x

Changes to Hannahjdavies.com

18/01/200918/01/2009 crystaltippsLeave a comment

Dear all, its time for a shake up *shakes you*…Hannahjdavies.com is going monthly rather than whenever-I-feel-like-it, in order to create a sense of routine by which you can follow me; call it a bodyclock or something!

I will continue to bring you the best content I possibly can, just at a regular time, which shall be the last day of every month.

I’ll be able to round up the music, fashion, lifestyle and news stories from that month, whilst also looking forward and setting my own personal humourous challenges for the month ahead. Also being launched is a time-to-time top secret collaboration with an up and coming photographer as of next month. Keep your eyes peeled for an interview, too!

Just to stress, this isn’t the end of Hannahjdavies.com – in fact, its just the beginning of a more efficient way of running the show. 😀

The mailer will probably be on hold for quite a while because of the changes; if you would like to keep your name on the mailing list then don’t worry, I will store the details of existing subscribers for future reference, and if you wish to join my list, then please continue to email hannah@hannahjdavies.com with ‘Registering Interest’ as your subject.

Grandes Bises,

x x x x

Style Tips: January blues, greens and yellows

12/01/200912/01/2009 crystaltipps1 Comment

Evening dudes, bettys and those who know that Hollister is just a dimly lit Primark warehouse. Honestly, I thought there had been a powercut on my first visit to ‘HCO’…

Imagine my shock then, when I found a massive queue of teens waiting to get into the Westfield branch of Hollister on Saturday 10th January. It’s not that I dont rate their clothes, but well…would you queue for an hour or two for a few 60% cotton hoodies soon to be worn by everyone in West London?

Anyways, I love fashion immensely, although in the winter I know how tempting it can be to shrivel up and pile on the clumpy, bumpy and clashing layers.

I seriously mean like this:

MY TIPS AW 08 – SS 09 (sorry for any sideways images, Photobucket is being annoying):

1) Big, fat leather belts:

I got mine ↓

courtesy of an attic clear-up at home, although these daddies can be snapped up everywhere.

Wear with jeans (if your loops arent big enough then put your baggy jeans on, pull them up quite a bit and then secure the belt over your top…just dont give yourself a wedgie doing this!!!) or a loose gypsy skirt – these are really cheap but look lovely with real leather accessories and boho jewellery, which is currently making a revival.

For cash payments, This Next belt is a gorgeous alternative to a vintage find …try attacking it with some sandpaper and leather balm for an aged look, or just leave it upstairs for 10 years a la moi…alternatively, splurge with this belt by Shane…the bird foil is very antique-look and the kind of pretty usually found in an ornately drawn biology book; just don’t mess around with the leather on this too much as it is a pretty expensive buy!!

2) Tartan:

Tartan is still surely the best thing to have come out of Scotland since, well, ever! I know, I know, I just destroyed hundreds of years of Scottish history with a single blow. Seen in SS 08, its stilll doing the rounds for SS 09!!

My family (Davies) tartan, is below ↓ however I’m much more of a fan of red tartan.

A bow, such as this Asos steal at £8 will bring a touch of Celtic class to your outfit without being too much of a distraction. With a simple tee, leather jacket, dark jeans and some kooky heels, this would for make an excellent midwinter ensemble.

With everyone getting in on the act, The Observer printed this gorgeous pic of photographer du jour Alice Hawkins in a lovely tartan prom dress with netting:

I’ve gotten in on the act by finding some ceilidh-ing/clubbing/coffeeing pieces of tartan in my very own wardrobe.

Example one: my TK Maxx shoes – Babyshams – which are easily copied, again at Asos.

Example two: my tartan skirt, stolen from my mum, which can be reproduced by either scowering charity shops of visiting the high street.

Example three: my tartan cross-body bag, which I have found is incredibly roomy and has lovely leather straps. For just £15 at the Topshop sale I dont think I could’ve found a prettier, redder or more Scottish sack.

Currently waiting on a GREEN tartan dress from the ASOS sale – in the meantime I will try and stay away from this increasingly addictive print!!

3) Crazy corsages

Beg, borrow and steal bits and pieces for your corsage…here’s one I made earlier!!

Whoops, HERES one I made earlier:

You’ll need:

-Badges (i like ones from galleires, like the Tate or high street stores)

-Ribbon/Sequin bows

-Buttons

– Chain (optional)

-Stickers (can be added or removed from the tee underneath)

Get them all together, mess about a bit and dont be afraid to prick yourself a few times in order to get the positioning of your trinkets perfect!!

4) Power dressing

I sometimes wear a suit jacket with jeans and a tee. This look works for pretty much anything – interviews, shopping, family events, or something more formal. In the pic below I’ve styled it with an oversized tee and a chain-strap bag.

To fit in with this season’s fabulous patriotic trend, I would recommend this union jack chain-bag from Paul’s Boutique at ASOS. It is adorable and boasts an animal print interior – another of my faves this year. Sometimes I wonder if Iam Edie Sedgwick/a bubble car from another psychadelic planet…

Anyway, dress like a mod and swing this off your Vespa handlebars (not advisable):

5) Costume-cocktail

An expensive dress shouldn’t have to require top-class accessories. Gems and jewels are easily faked, and as tacky as crystals might sound, a Victorian-style sparkler which can be thrown off after the party rather than lost down the toilet bowl is a plus. CC Skye make the best bling – their enamel bangles in particular are on trend. Fake the look of their leather double wrap bracelet by doubling a Topshop headband (you know the one, the one with the gold loops on it!!) around your wrist for LA style without lalaland pricing.

Style doesn’t have to be complex to be cool, and I hope I’ve shown you the basics of my AW 08 – SS 09 wardrobe. Also loved are:

-high waisted jeans (still around from SS 08)

– tailored trousers

– snuggly coats and cashmere scarves, both of which can be found cheaply during sale time. Good quality scarves – including vintage University scarves – will bring a touch of interest to a dark coat/boot combination.

– Sheepskin boots (Ugg, Emu etc). Nuff said. Expensive but worth it for warm, dry feet in times of snow

– Primark basics – tank tops will eventually lose their colour so why not buy them from old Primark…worn-in ones can look good layered with interesting buys from abroad such as kaftans and bikinis in the impending summer months.

Bisous,

x x x x

-Currently listening to and loving this week: ♥

The Beatles – Rubber Soul

Radiohead – The Bends

Destiny’s Child – Number 1s

-Thoughstream:

Stop the Gaza conflict, bring back X-Fire (best TV show ever as of 2001), tape Prince Harry’s gob shut!

2009

05/01/2009 crystaltipps1 Comment

Welcome to 2009…oh, wait its the 5th of January…I do apologize for being late, but as you can tell I am not in my right mind…too much of thison New Years Eve, coupled with far too little of this …sleeping, not androgynous mullets, lippy and dandruff sharing as I think the picture might imply. Anyways, who else saw Lenny Henry making an arse of himself on Jools Holland’s Hootenanny? Could Len possibly be THE unfunniest man to have ever had a BBC comedy show comissioned?

This got me thinking…my New Years resolution should be to stop crappy shows getting made and taking up airtime…here’s a few that I think should go…

The acting is like an impromptu theatre school at a morgue. The storylines (dead policemen in lakes, stupid inbred brutes setting fire to things) are primitive and lifeless. I am never, ever going to be swayed on those two things. Not even Paddy – a parallel-world Peter Griffin in Damart apparel – can sway me.

2) I was out of the country when Heroes began – maybe that’s why I’ve always felt frozen out of the hype which has surrounded this superturkey for a few years now. Sloppily written, sadomasochistically smattered with a pervy and fat villain, starring a blonde girl who designs handbags for Coach (similar to Gap, Abercr0mbie, Juicy etc…) but NO, the reason I hate Heroes is simply because it is 45 minutes long, and then it is immediately followed by a 15 minute episode showing you how they did all the effects and badly wrote the dialogue. Spoiling the magic, moi?

3) ’nuff said I think. Stupid, talentless, bimbos…and that’s just Dannii and Cheryl. I’m here to rate, rather than slate, so I will tell you something which the X Factor is good at. Ruining TV.

Ditto Strictly come dancing, with its foppish winner, Tom somebody or other? Rather than thanking the crew, the home audience who wasted their pennies voting for him even when it was a blatant fix or the poor Vietnamese kids who I’m sure worked pretty damn hard sewing sequins onto all those dresses, selfish mummy’s boy Tommy gushed about his wife, and then danced atrociously and awkwardly with her on stage. It was like some kind of bad wedding reception at a hotel next to Heathrow…the kind where you fill your plate with spring rolls and crisps, and sit in your best dress/waistcoat talking to a 90-year-old ‘relative’ whilst everyone else gets drunk and does the conga.

NOT LIKE THESE TWO…

Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that TV is poor at the moment, very poor indeed…cinema isn’t much better, as I discovered at Twilight. Vampires…lust…vampiric lust…that’s it basically. Save your money and watch a real horror film, rather than a gushy pseudo-horror romance where the central love interest is suppressing the urge to suck the main girl’s blood 24/7. Edward Cullen – Robert Pattinson – is a socially inept weirdo, whilst the rather horny Bella Swan is played by Kristen Stewart – a Zooey Deschanel/Liv Tyler-look-a-like who I can only remember for playing a moody bitch in Jamanji-esque flop Zathura. It’s sloppy, it thinks its an action film and there are far too many cliched polt devices…generously I’ll go with a 3/5, as it was truly laugh-a-minute during the more ‘lovey’ moments.

I vant too suk yurr bludd: Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart getting a bit too close for comfort in Twilight

Currently listening to: Elbow…a lot of Elbow…One Day Like This is a string-laden, heavy affair which reminds me of an alternative Christmas carol somehow, and the effervescently cool Grounds For Divorce combines a sultry riff with dark lyrics and some edgy production and mixing.

Toodles, I’m off to eat noodles and poodles. Just joking about the poodles bit, I should make it clear that I love all creatures great and small. Even Lenny Henry *shudders*

x x x x

Robin Hood frees The Dark Knight in Torrent City + more

30/12/2008 crystaltippsLeave a comment

Rant one: Yes commenters, I can see your email addresses and you don’t even realise!

This reminds me of when I was told during my work experience at NME not to handle some of the weirder fanmail that the writers receive.

Q: Slated some shitty four piece from Dagenham?

A: Yes? Here’s a box of my excrement, then.

Lovely. ♥

Anyways, here’s the gorgeous and articulate (and married) Johnny Depp…I love him sooo much that I’m going to post a random and wholely pointless picture of him right….here…

Anyways, yesterday I mentioned Monsieur Depp unintentionally whilst telling you about the fantastic Sweeney Todd soundtrack, which you can buy online or steal if you’re one of the people interested in something I will cover in a sec.

Today I watched the psychological cat-and-mouse antics of his characteristically offbeat 2004 offering ‘Secret Window’ which was actually far, far better than I’d imagined it would be, given the awful reviews which surrounded it at the time of release.

It was panned, quite frankly, but if you’re into Donnie Darko, The Butterfly Effect or maybe just Psycho then give it a try…its a 3-star thriller.

Currently listening to:

I know, I’m a horrible middle-class bitch aren’t I? What about all those poor people who’ve lost their jobs, right? Where’s my sense of socialism and cameraderie for the lower classes?

Actually I think tact is 70% off at Poundland this week.

Currently reading:

the Independent’s Life section. Startlingly interesting today, actually, what with an online piracy article (aXXo who?), plenty of stuff about MySpace (remember them?) making a movie, a hilarious problems page, some subjective fashion advice (I just bought a heap of tartan and am now being told to throw it away basically) and more (who knew that symbolics.com is the oldest website out there, eh? etc)

The irony: just read about the pirating catastrophe online, yet I watched ‘Secret Window’ online today, with dodgy kanji subtitles aplenty…they didn’t marr Depp’s beauty however…ahhh…

*Following on from my other link yesterday, here is more satire and goodness for the soul. Yes, I am mixed race, therefore I can do this and not get in too much trouble.

Bisous; laugh a little and play nice! I’m off to listen to endless euthanasia debates on LBC ‘cos I’m cool like that

x x x x

Guess Who’s Back…

28/12/200828/12/2008 crystaltippsLeave a comment

Missed me munchkins?

I’ve been a bit ill recently – nothing serious luckily, just a cold – hence neglecting this blog. Of course there was that little thing called CHRISTMAS as well, but there you go. I sincerely hope you had yourself a merry little one, and did something rather than just gorge and watch telly.

Actually thats what I’ve been doing since Monday 22nd. I sincerely love turkey drenched in bread sauce and cranberry sauce…even in an economic downturn we actually had the best xmas meal to date, which was definitely upped by my somewhat cousin Ken Kobayashi’s impromptu performance after dinner! myspace.com/kenkobayashi will tell you all you need to know if you’re an Air/Beta Band kinda guy/girl/snail.

Some of the day was also spent laughing at blackpeopleloveus.com, a hilarious internet viral which is still doing the rounds. Ignore if you saw this back at the ole Y2K whilst working on an oldskool Mac with a colourful case…

Anyways, here’s an image which warmed my cockles (not).

Who needs warts? — Perry-Perry Sores: Random caption aimed at demonizing Katy, not Nandos

…Been out today, now that my cold has subsided. Shopping, would you believe?

Not a lot of music journalism haha, but instead I think I’ll write about Guitar Hero World Tour. I am absolutely crap at this game, terrible, useless, unless I play it on Easy which is fairly soul destroying in itself. No, I’m here to praise the game’s great producers for their fantastic animation of Billy Corgan (aka God). It is just fantastic to watch my favourite grungey slaphead in all his 3D glory.

Anyways, onto my fabulous xmas gifts for others, which included gems such as nothing and nowt (THIS IS THE BIT WHERE THREE GHOSTS COME AND SHOW ME THE ERROR OF MY WAYS ETC). However, I’m currently coverting my brother’s great new Student Cookbook, which features pictures of the multi-talented Sam Stern leaning up against food at markets, buying nuts, bartering for fish and doing other food-related things.

Ooh, and his recipes too of course, which feature a general overkill on the words ‘sexy’ and ‘well’ but still manage to remain tasty. He’s Jamie Oliver for girls who write their essays at 4am…well,anyone who CAN write, really.

I was watching a ‘most annoying’ list on tv last night, narrated by one of my favourite people: Richard Bacon. It was truly awful stuff (Eurovision? Jonas Brothers? Pete Doherty?) yet remained highly entertaining. I dont know what it is about watching ex-CBBC presenters earn their salt by taking the piss out of my second favourite kojak, Naomi Campbell, which is so gratifying. It’s gripping, especially some of the mud celebs would rather we forgot…Noel Edmond’s declaring that he hadn’t paid his TV license, I mean WHAT A RETARDED THING TO SAY ON THE NEWS?? Oh, its okay actually because Noel did pay his license, he just wanted to appear ‘cool’ and ‘rebellious’ by bragging about how he hadn’t been caught.

Salad tosserr.

New and highly entertaining concept:

Noel Edmonds presents Deal or No Deal dressed in outfit bought entirely from a flea market whilst he shows his nipples off a la Kate Moss, frenches Katy Perry’s dad and cooks eggs benedict a la Sam Stern. Cos that’s cool, right kids? Imagine cool Noel, Greentoothing the pictures on his RedBerry to his cool friends on Facenook…yeah…

I dont know why I’m hating on ‘inherently cool kids’ today, really, after all I am the epitome of London dress. There’s actually been a fire in Hoxton today, so maybe I should be careful what generalisations I make… I’m totally non-judgemental, really…not to be confused with some people’s desire to hate on ‘The Cool Kids’ who are actually a rather fine outfit (see ‘The Bake Sale’).

*Currently listening to:

Sweeney Todd soundtrack –

THE film of the year, plus when I downloaded this, I got a digital booklet with lyrics about pies and murder! Can’t wait for the next Tim Burton offering – Alice In Wonderland…

Simon and Garfunkel

– The vintage summer cool of Mrs Robinson makes me want Pimms. Reminding myself it’s December via the use of a small heater in my room at night…Dickensian or what?

*Currently watching:

Not a lot…planning to watch 30 Rock (hilarious) and The Wire (so I can appear more intelligent with my televisual choices) pretty soon.

Bisous, I’m off to order some cheap clothes on the internet, and maybe my local branch of Woolworths. That was cruel and unfair and I apologize….

hannahsig1

x x x x