So..we’ve had a few extra posts last month, due to the launch of Vice’s Creators Project (tomorrow), but I feel as though I missed my actual end of the month post as a result!!
On the box
Last month I had a reader’s review of GLEE published in The Independent’s Arts/Books section, which you can find amongst the thoughts of other readers here.
Besides that, I’m not watching a lot of TV…although the occasional episode of Victoria Coren’s Only Connect on BBC 4 is like Actimel for the soul. I especially like the fact that despite team names like “Rugby Boys” and “History Boys”, they’re all just neeks who can solve complex puzzles which make 3am Quizcall on Channel 5 look like playschool. Especially love the (very rare) occasions when I get something right.
The current series of Big Brother is also providing good entertainment whenever I flick onto it, and Emmerdale lookylikey Nathan’s monobrow has luckily been evicted. Desperate Housewives has just finished its sensational sixth season, which saw a triptych of psychos, copious amounts of flashbacks and *tear* Mike and Susan leaving Wisteria Lane. Silver fox Paul Young (Duck from Mad Men – portrayed by Mark Moses) is back on the scene, however. I’m rewatching some of the latter at the moment, so the next season of Housewives could be very confusing for me indeed, having become accustomed to seeing Mr Moses in 60s mode.
Adieu, adieu, to Mike, MJ and Su-use...
Girl’s just wanna have fun (and not much else)
WARNING: MAY CONTAIN SATC2 SPOILERS
Late as I am, SATC2 was a ton of fun.
I wish I’d seen it earlier. Casual racism, gay stereotyping, marital cliches and Samantha’s (Kim Cattrall) grossness aside, it was a great laugh. Moreover, SJP was on form as Carrie Bradshaw (or Preston) and the Abu Dhabi scenes were beautiful, despite being filmed 4000 miles away in Morrocco (ironically, due to the same Islamic strictness of the UAE which the film constantly lampoons). The plot looses its way more than a few times, but is saved by some genuine laughs courtesy of cameos from Liza Minnelli as herself, performing at said gay stereotypes wedding, and Miley Cyrus, who turns up at a premiere in the same “young” frock as Samantha. Said dress is rather Littlewoods for the stars to be wearing, but I’m sure it was a designer number. There is tons of product placement in the film, as one would expect, but which is all the more distracting given the “exotic” setting. The Arabic Pringles aren’t particuarly rare, either, SJP – we’ve been buying them in the pound shop forever in the real world. Anyways, I digress: SATC2 is a cheap laugh rather than a well-plotted and wholesome one. There is some fleeting realism via Charlotte’s insecurities (with the gorgeous Alice Eve as her Gaelic nanny Erin, who wouldn’t be worried?) but this is quickly usurped by stupidity, as director Michael Patrick King decides to go kamikaze, peppering the flick with millions of unneccessary shots of Eve’s bra-less nipples which probably contributed towards the film’s poor reception. The outcome of the lazy storytelling is that overSexed and The City is a whopping three hours long. By the end, I felt as though I’d been beaten over the head with a Complete Seasons 1-6 boxset. Not only was the film overly drawn out, it felt a million miles away from the innovation which the original SATC had. Age-wise the “girls” have outgrown the format, but I fear that perhaps we’ve all tired of their antics and nineties semantics, too.
Forty love: the girls are showing their age, and what an age it is (187 in total)
At least Cougar Town kind of had a noughties “menopause-chic”, a Demi and Ashton vibe…Sex and The City 2 is good fun, but it does feel dated.When Charlotte (Kristin Davis) cries about her ruined “vintage Valentino” she is pretty much a cariacture of herself.
So, what can we take away from this Emirates-set escapade? Don’t cheat on your husband, perhaps? Even that doesn’t quite follow, with Carrie and Big making good of their relationship, even after the former kisses an ex-love in aforesaid foreign climes. In conclusion, SATC2 is a slice of the big apple without all the chewy bits (storytelling, drama, genuine adventure). The racebending here wasn’t as awful as Prince of Persia (Gyllenhaal as an arab?), but boy, must Omid Djalili and Raza Jaffrey be having some serious cash issues right now.
Did you hear the one about the obscene time machine, which made every but Charlotte look older rather than younger?
More acerbic words from the rainy environs of London coming up soon, when I hit Truck festival and Underage with Artrocker, and pump some PR into the blog with brand, brand, spanking new content.
Dear my faithfuls…I’d give you all my last Rolo if I could. But I can’t due to the laws of physics and such.
This month has been seriously busy for me due to AS Levels. Such a cop-out, but as I’m seriously dedicated to high quality content I feel that rather than a coherent blog I’ll just roll out links to 5 cool things I’m enjoying right now and apologise profusely. Please follow me on twitter (@hannahjdavies) and I’ll spew more nonsense there.
1.MIA ROSE is a chanteuse and a bit of a flanteuse when she sings sitting on her bed but…
She’s really beautiful (think Glee’s Rachel meets Norah Jones meets Penelope Cruz) and although she’s been around a few years, (and endured more than a few suspcions over her seemingly huge Youtube following) this songstress never fails to make me smile. File her covers and Gibson-playing between Colbie Caillat and Sheryl Crow, even though she has been managed by Tommy Mottolla (Mariah’s ex).
And she wears quite a few hats. Something which kinda adds to her girl-next-door vibe.
2. Harry Hill’s paintings
They’re almost as hilarious than his TV show, and Harry Hill’s paintings provoke more of a smile than a Burp – as seen in this week’s Observer. I especially like Parker-Bowles Windsor (below) the love child of Camilla and Charles who is a decidedly ominous creamy spacehopper with more of a resembelence to Robin Williams in Flubber. I digress – a symbol, perhaps, of our strange relationship with the couple and (pathetically) undying love for Princess Diana.
3. Money
Not in note-form, although you can make any cheques payable to me. Nope, I’m talking about the 2-part adaptation of Martin Amis’ novel with Vincent Kartheiser (Mad Men) and Nick Frost (Hot Fuzz) which recently graced our screens on BBC2. Reeeaaaalllly good (a little subjective as I’m a Martin Amis fan) but this was a really fun bit of 80s which should sit alongside the Rayban revival, John Hughes films being shown late at night and Vice Magazine’s Bret Easton Ellis interview this month.
Here’s a useless picture of Vince just to illustrate how symmetrical his face is. I think he might use Carmex, too. The guy who over-straightens his hair on Junior Apprentice could also take a few tips from Karthy’s bouncy straight locks which are statically mussed up a little on top as to appear nonchalant, but calmed with serum. I can smell Frederic Fekkai through my computer.
4. Twitterings
After over a year leaving tiny nuggets of mundanity and picking up quickly aggregated news and cynical musings and (possibly made-up) gossip from the twitterati, I don’t want to leave. It’s too fun, especially when real-life augments itself into Twitter via pictures, mentions and locations (becoming a mayor of Oxford St McDonalds on FourSquare is my next goal).
I even recorded a voiceover for reviews site The 405 (server isn’t working so here is the link: http://thefourohfive.com) after chatting on Twitter, and the manager of Cha Cha sent me this video after finding me on there:
Admittedly its too inoffensive, slick and overpolished for my liking, and lacks personality, but it is a cute video and i really do respond to everything which is emailed to me.
5. Festival essentials
Summer’s almost here, and I really want a Hunter festival survival pack (available from Office) – tons of good stuff packed into a one litre flask with Hunter logo in the classic mossy green colour, which is actually just known as Green. I. Need. This.
Urban Outfitters ‘Contrast Trim Satchel’ is probably too shallow to fit that massive bottle into, but I like it anyways due to its Americana feel and oversized clasp. I’m no Mariella Tandy but yum.
If money were no object I’d probably be stuffing everything into one of these stunning pouches courtesy of Felder Felder at Browns, which perfectly marry my ambition to be part of some outlaw motorcycling club in Arkansas with my (pipe) dream of designing a haute couture collection based on dirt and leather and saloon doors. Enough space or keys, plasters and a bit of cash although unfortunately £190. If Matalan are reading this, please make a copy for £4.
Its April/May. The showers are coming down on my window like sweat on a pubescent kid’s spotty forehead in a tennis lesson (not speaking from experience here) and exams are impending BUT I still reserve a little time for such art forms as interviewing cool creatives like the guys from ad agency C.R.A.P !! Below you can see me prodding the collective intellect of Scottish Ad Men Chris Rush & Andy Peel.
FIRST UP: Top tips for advertising and some “random words” from C.R.A.P.
Subjectively, they’re the new Saatchi & Saatchi. I know someone will execute me for that. To save you from CSI-type measures, his name will be Charles Saatchi and he will be in the conservatory with the lead pipe.
HJD: Due to the popularity of Mad Men, which has just finished its oh-so-stylish third series, do you guys think that the ad world is getting a makeover? And, of course, what’s the most glamourous part of your day job?
AP: [its] between people spending money on our ideas and going on shoots. Traveling the world(ish) and meeting celebs is pretty good, and you can live in the pub so long as you’ve got some awesome work to show for it when you stagger out.
CR: ^What? *reality check Peely* maybe getting free drinks on expenses? We can go anywhere to do ‘work’ and not pay a thing when we’re there. Anywhere can be the office… till I have to direct some art at least.
HJD: Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce (Mad Men) vs CRAP (you). Whats in a name, and do you honestly think your, well, crap? Do clients call you ‘crap’ or C.R.A.P? Or is it like M*A*S*H where the periods are ignored? Help.
AP: to start with, the name was everything. we were crap. We took the piss out ourselves because of people didn’t like our work, we told them “what did you expect from crap?” CRAP got us noticed and remembered. It works, but because he’s CR and I’m AP. If i was John and CR was Bob, being crap wouldn’t have a purpose. And it’s always crap, except my dad hates it, so to him we’re c.r.a.p.
CR: Clients don’t really know us. For the most part only the account handlers deal with them, there are exceptions of course. cr.ap is memorable. It just works for that. When doing crits (HJD: book crits are visits to ad agencies to try and get work by showing a portfolio) we’d start out by telling them we are crap – its on the cover of the front page of the portfolio – then anything they see from then on might not be crap. We’re getting better, not entirely crap anymore but always cr.ap
HJD: At least your not Chris Underwood and Nathan Thomas, I here that their agency didnt go down too well. Jokes aside, how did you guys get into the business and what advise would you give to someone of about my age (17) who is thinking of getting into the PR or mad ad world?
AP: I didn’t have a clue. I did an ad course, after year one I teamed up with Chris and then started getting book crits and placements ever since. Network, work hard and being nice go a long way. Plus being good at it helps. Find a coach/mentor that’ll help is a bonus. See our Facebook group for more.
CR: Have fun. Meet people -agency people all ‘have been there once’ and most will give you good advice on how to get into the industry. There’s not one set method that works, as a creative it relies a lot on timing, luck and of course you being willing to put the graft in. And be polite. Everyone knows everyone in this industry, piss one off and the rest can hear about it…
We got here by not being perfect. We made a lot of mistakes and did a lot of bad ads. It’s how you learn. Literally. Just practice. Meeting people who can push you in the right direction helps and don’t rely on just one person’s opinion because it is just that: an opinion. Always try and get several people looking at your work, then you can take a consensus from that.
AP: Sound advice Mr Rush.
HJD: Sound advice indeed. I’m curious as to what has been your favourite project to date and why? (my personal fave is the Jaffalympics above)
AP: A toss up between our first TV shoot for the Scottish News of the World and our pitch win for Scotrail which will break nationally (in Scotland) in the summer. (HJD: Scotrail is the Scottish railway if you hadn’t guessed).
CR: What AP said plus the Smoking campaign for Northern Ireland. It was effective and got a lot of good response.
AP: It’s because you got to fly to Belfast you jammie git. It looked pretty good though, *pats head*.
HJD: “CRAP is one guy drawing and one guy writing” – discuss
AP: One Photoshops, one waffles, but it works. I don’t think we’ve been blown our cover yet.
CR: I can’t spell, he can.
HJD: Would you ever consider more government propaganda…I mean, information campaigns…like your work for the NHS?
AP: of course, we worked with the Scottish and Northern Ireland Governments before. Sexual health, drinking and smoking. So long as it’s for a good cause we’ll sell our souls.
CR: They aren’t propaganda, there’s a difference between telling someone they must quit smoking and suggesting they do. We don’t really ‘consider’ whether we do a brief or not anyway. It’s a job, it pays the company’s bills so it has to be done. We’d never get a product that it is wrong to advertise because they aren’t allowed to be advertised. We do of course get some briefs we’d rather not have…like a girls beauty brief thats on my desk right now.
AP: that’s true. A brainstorm with 6 women is a scary moment. Especially when you can’t get a word in edgeways over the “isn’t he just gorgeous” or “eugh, fat thighs”.
Mr A.I.D.S: one of CR.AP’s NHS initiatives simplifies serious illness for dramatic effect.
HJD: Better than working on those disgusting ads where those women discuss diarrhoea over lunch. Finally, who would be your dream client and why? For example, if I had any idea about the ad world whatsoever I would love to make an advert where a car is created out of cake..ohh thats been done…
AP: Chris and John at Fallon (who made the Skoda cake ad) gave us our first crit and placement. I’d love to work on Sony, Nike or Coke. But something closer to home would be good.
CR: A one that just allows creativity to shine through instead of worrying about the size of a frigging logo. It’s amazing the difference between an original idea and the work which the general public end up seeing. 9/10 its a watered down version that isn’t anywhere near as good. So not a specific client, just one that wants to be creative and bold.
AP: I think our portfolio has a few of those in…
HJD: Thanks guys, all the best…Can’t wait to see if these guys do become the Real Life ‘Mad Men’ (which, by the way, I really don’t advise)
BEST OF THE REST
Elsewhere, I very unfortunatly had to miss the Underage Easter festival with Artrocker due to illness (boo), but I did end up with a friend at Storm Models, which got me thinking about something which only a tackly glitter graphic can show :
Vice Style is currently in Beta, but it looks pretty awesome. Some of the stuff I’ve found and loved so far has included a bit on bindis (below) with the beautiful French reporter Dora modelling some sticky jewellery to great effect.
Drop in some top-class editorials and pictures like this:
….and I think we can say that the little sister to Vice and VBS.tv s going to be huge. YVAN Rodic, LOOBOOK, WWW aside…ViceStyle looks set to join the ranks of net stardom. Oh, and some of their superb offerings make it into the paper VICE magazine. There’s even a few words with the world’s most famous plus-sized model, Crystal Renn – author of the memoir Hungry: A Young Model’s Story of Appetite, Ambition and the Ultimate Embrace of Curves.
And no fashion website worth its salt (or low sodium substitute) would be complete without the man himself, Karl Lagerfeld, as interviewed by film-director-cum-Vice-man Bruce Labruce (those familiar with Bruce, do excuse my wordplay there).
Karl's pad is both cluttered and library-like in its order. Viva Ikea!
My friends at Vice are also going Pretty Scritti Political right now, in celebration of next week’s election! Click here to watch a trailer for their (genuinely thrilling) docu Rule Britannia: Elections.
On an extremely important political note, not sure if its just me, but don’t these guys look alike?
Nick 'spanish wife and french chateau' CleggOr is it Dragons Den king, telecoms magnate and sock-puller-upper Peter Jones?
Possibly not the best picture to show a comparison.
I think I’ll finish with a bit of music, eh?
My mateys The Ruskins come from Isleworth (not too far from me) and I can’t believe they’re still unsigned. Not for long I hope/bet. Here’s their latest offering, Old Isleworth…the video features Elliott Tittensor (Shameless) and Kaya “Effy” Scodelario.
Its a cracker.
ALSO LOVING: OK GO, Lou Reed, N Sync, Amy Studt (yes I know), Sparks, Interpol (back on form), Julian Plenti…
And this:
Yes, that is Corbin Bleu’s Deal With It you can hear there…turns out that a whiley Jay Sean penned the song for the Afroed teen and sold the music to Korean superstars Shinee too. Clever move. Cleverer than that smug ‘blazer dance’ in the Down video, anyway…
This is where my famous green typing ends for a while, and you get to sample The ‘Zine. It is a magical thing when you can use paper and a pen in a cross-promotional marketing strategy inspired by THE APOCOLYPSE OF PRINT. Here we go:
The Mona Cheryl by Hannah J 'Leonardo' Davies
*Have you got any thoughts on this month’s paper-licious issue, written on pretty ancient paper my mother used whilst at university I might add? Email me: hannah@hannahjdavies.com with your thoughts. A letters page might happen, y’know.
PS: Click here to watch something which touched my heart this Valentines. Vice Magazine’s VBS bring you, yes you, a Rule Britannia special six-part ‘Swansea Love Story’, focusing on addicts such as Lee Dennis, who graphically recounts his drug abuse and how he contracted Hep C in prison, as he rifles through his possessions in an Iceland bag casually. Desperate fights to get clean in a city which, according to its older inhabitants hasn’t changed…its the people who have. All in all, such deprivation, tales of sexual abuse and familial collapse are handled with class by director Leo Leigh sooo go watch. Plus, CNN thought it was noteworthy.
Listening to: JAM. I hope Liorah Tchiprout, the author of this pretty amazing playlist for use with Spotify, won’t mind me sharing it with you x x
…And here you were thinking I was overaxaggerating. I might not have been raised by animals to sing Disney songs this
month, BUT I did have a great month regardless. My new nickname is Mowgli – given by a dear friend but disliked nonetheless. Why can’t a girl be a bit free with her massive curly hair and poor make-up regime, without being compared to a fictional eunuch, eh?
Anyhow, I digress: this month I appeared on the popular BBC programme Question Time, which was a laugh-and-a-half
…okay, it was a serious show featuring political prowess BUT it was as close to TV fame as I’m gonna get now that Jungle Run is a distant memory. I always wanted a bike/scooter/Gameboy colour.
Question Time was a great experience, and one that I won’t forget in a hurry despite not getting my massive gob on TV. And I met David Dimbleby (legend) who listened to my views on the control of policing despite being on his way off to the pub 🙂
X women at the X crawl/bad attempt at timely Marvel pun?
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Anyways, this month I also went down to the Camden X Crawl for the lovely Artrocker.tv. You can read all about my exploits with my great friend Cathryn Innocent of Cathryn photography here. The X Crawl was a great event, hence my piece, and great photos like this poser with My Passion bassist and general sweetheart Simon Rowlands ↓
I have now decided, however, that based on that experience I am never leaving home sans pen, paper and BlackBerry ever again, having made a crazeee dash to Sainsbury’s for interviewing supplies. Once and never again…I had difficulty self-scanning my items, as always…
Just to reiterate, click above for the article and read ALL ABOUT IT. 🙂
Here’s a humorous picture of me to lighten the mood of this thoroughly disjointed entry:
Shall I go blonde? Hmmm…either way, dressing as Alice In Wonderland for my friend Emily’s birthday party (British themed) was a true eye-opener to the great hair debate. Suddenly I was crazily energetic and carefree…no longer a sensible, coy brunette…
Actually, I think I look a bit like Dolly Parton myself…
I feel slightly lazy today due to flu (not of the swine variety, hopefully), so here’s something I cooked up earlier, a review of Mad Men, a show which I love so dearly. It’s in a classy font, and not-so-subtly followed by pictures of this month’s ‘Old Man Crush’, Jon Hamm. It’s a fantastic show – BBC4, 10pm, Tuesdays are the place to be for the vintage stuff (which unfortunately has to end next week as the magnificent 2nd season draws to a close)…
Truly MADly Deeply
Mutually Assured Delight has swept over my TV screen, as I’ve prepared to stage some wholly pretentious conversations about advertising, glamour and aestheticism. Yes, I’ve been watching Mad Men for all of twelve weeks, and I’m gripped.
Dapper men (such as the gorgeous protagonist Don Draper, played by Jon Hamm), Brycreemed to the max and trying it on with their secretaries, their clients’ wives or whoever happens to be nearest to the Xerox: check. The underappreciated wives; neglected whilst their husbands devise great copy for Clearasil, or ‘spend a little time’ with the aforementioned floozies: check. The deficient 2.4 children, putting the nuclear into nuclear family, making cocktails for mummy and daddy, and being berated in a terrific style for asking such uncouth classics as “are we rich?” Check.
Mad Men has stolen my Tuesday nights and transported them into a bourgeoisie world, which smells of smoke and sex and classy instrumentals. It honestly looks like a real 1980s made-for-tv-movie set in the 50s; such is the realism, the costumery and the expert camerawork. Mad Men is the truth behind both the tension and allure of the office, and I would give anything to be part of a fantasy which includes Elnett in a starring role.
—
Old Man Crush status = in progress.
Stuff I like this month:
1 – Lush beauty stuff – nuff said. It’s LUSHious. and most of the products look like fudge…
2 – Festivals – counting down the days to Reading ’09!
3 – Afghani food – for the world food lover
4- My new banner, which is slightly stretched but very beautiful:
AND,
STUFF I DONT!
1 – Exams. I know that’s a stupid thing to say because we all NEED qualifications, but its the stress and hypochrondria that gets me!
2 – Swine flu. Just ‘cos.
3 – Weird coldcallers. You know who you are! I’ll ave ya for dinner!
…sang Lily Allen back in December when she appeared with other ‘celebs’ to see the new year in with Jools Holland. Was she singing about a certain ‘Lady’, or simply reciting a song chosen by her mangagement, is the baffling question which I would now love to disect, whether or not you actually care 🙂
A TALE OF TWO CITIES (AND THEIR DAHLINGS):
In the blue corner, LDN’s Tesco-Alfresco Finest, Lily Allen…
The obligatory fairytale: Once upon a time, an unconvincing indie ‘grimesterrrrr’ turned into an unconvincing LA dahling. First propelled to fame by daddy dearest after enjoying a supposedly awful unbringing, said ‘grimesterrrrr’ turned being a brat into her career.
Likes to… : Cringeworthily cry about how fat, ugly and talentless she is via MySpace like a 13 year old emo, cuss down other female celebrities, play dress up at boutiques, complain about ‘old men’ stalking her with ‘long-lens cameras’. Firstly, zoom is usually not a good thing (see Now’s ‘Circle of Shame’ etc…you know…VPLs, sweat patches, cellulite, etc). Secondly, not all paparazzi are old. In fact, some are young and date celebrities (admittedly only sleazy ones like Britney’s ex Adnan Ghalib…)
Most likely to say: I’m just a normal lundun gal, honest…ooh but Chanel shoes are amazing!!
In the red corner, LA-LAland fruit-loop Lady GaGa (1)…see also GaGa – (2) – noun, a liar or an impersonator, i.e.: Lily Allen pulled a GaGa last week…
The obligatory fairytale: There was once a singer who seemed to be the poster girl for post op success. In fact, she was a woman, but besides that she was totally fake, so much so that everything from her long ‘platinum’ hair (read: ‘peroxide and hair extension partayy’) to her KKK-at-Christmas costume (see right) may have made people assume she was once Little Mr Riding hood… Or in a No Doubt tribute band…
Likes to… : Party, presumably? She went to school with Paris Hilton, which seems to say a lot about this Lady’s attitude. ‘Just Dance’ definitely doesn’t ask to be followed with the words ‘but it’s 3am and I’m too tired!!’ I imagine that she practices her moves whilst doing ordinary stuff like say…walking over men wearing stilletos and busting into random houses (this didn’t take much of the video to said song to asscertain..)
Most likely to say: “Just Dance”, “Just Drink…Probably No Rohypnol In There”, “Just Get In The Kiddies’ Paddling Pool And Ride Shamu With Me”, “Just Rent Some Friends For The Night”…
HERE WE GO…
Hannahjdavies.com takes an indepth look at the two high-living ‘heirheads’…:
It’s always been okay to have multiple occupations. Unless your name really is Martine McCutcheon, then you can be a singer moonlighting as an actress and vice versa; a reality TV star turned perfumer turned writer; you can even be famous just for the size of your assets, whether they’re paper, bricks or simply silicone. However, projecting an image of classiness and professional standard is always advised, first and foremost. How can one talk about money in the press let alone brag about a bank balance which makes Miley Cyrus’ paycheque look like child abuse?
1. Ange's pouty lips and hot hair scream smouldering screen siren, rather than just screaming like a siren
The trick is not to go in for all out P-O-S-H, whether you were born so or have recently acquired your squillions (the idea being that one obviously didn’t go to finishing school in Switzerland if one feels the need to prefix her name with a word with makes the real aristocracy cringe, (right Vickaaaay Beckham?) and if one did, then one obviously didn’t take much away from their education other than a Blackberry crammed full of viscounts and heiresses Pins…)
2. Paris shows that showing off isn't always necessary, in a £30 dress from Brit store Dorothy Perkins...
Anyhow, I digress. The idea is to hint to a life well lived rather then advertise it, neon sign and all. The Cuban cigars in the ashtray and the red soles of your Louboutins will tell your illustrious story without the ‘umms’, ‘likes’ and references to that ‘thing’ you had with Russell Brand.
(Not unless that actually IS the story…take note 2008’s Georgina Bailie (aka Andrew Sach’s granddaughter)).
Basically, it’s all about “keeping it real”…or giving the illusion that you’ve kept it real. Nouveau riche is a brassy and un-classy look, and, having heaped a title onto herself, I expected so much more from one such madame.
US export Lady GaGa – real name Joanne Stefani Germanotta – not only went to school with and dresses like Donatella Versace but also sings, quite repetitively, of her obsession with money (see “Money Honey”), fame (not just on title track “The Fame”), the paparazzi (eponymous ditty “Paparazzi” says it all), men (“Boys, Boys, Boys”), champagne (name checked a fair few times) and Hollywood (I just couldn’t listen to anymore of this pretentious twaddle by then, sorry).
Hearing her repeat “we’re beautiful and dirty rich” over and over again without a hint of sarcasm or irony or modesty or gratitude is quite depressing, honestly. In times of economic struggle, GaGa’s material obsession seems to amount to little substance. In fact, I think if you left this Stefani in a petri dish overnight, then maybe she would dissolve into a perfectly formed mountain of glitter.
I say this simply because she is glamourous, shiny and overtly sexual, yet totally and utterly boring. There’s less lyrical depth than the previously mentioned paddling pool on “The Fame”, and the title was annoyingly etched into her fly-eye glasses on the cover (because rich people do stupid things like that, surely?)
A true child of the mid-80s, she unfortunately still appears to erk back to a time when stress meant glamour, glamour meant money and money meant financial security and happiness in the bottom of an expensive bottle.
= modern day slavery...
Oddly enough, the next single to hit (and consequently inflict GB onto) my ears after “Just Dance” (translation: Christina Aguliera rip-off writhes around and commands us to follow her in doing so for a tiring 4:10), was Lily’s latest, “The Fear”, from her new album “It’s Not Me, It’s You”. It is catchier than anything from the GaGa stable, yet annoyingly it is just another song about flashing the cash (and I mean this literally – in the video Lily parades around with dancing hotel staff à la Rick Astley). As for the astronomical amount of swearing which fag-ash Lil manages to pack into this 3:45 homage to money (and Gordon Ramsay?), I was totally appalled. That and her moronic, hopefully ironic, lyrics about learning that people die whilst mining diamonds. Did she bunk all of her Citizenship lessons, one has to wonder?
Being two girls who enjoyed privileged upbringings to say the least, both Lady GaGa and Lily Allen are doing a fantastically unconvincing job of sounding like the aforementioned grimy, dirty gold diggers, and are identical in every way, from their blunt eye-skimming fringes and hair extensions to their piss-poor lyrics.
I’d rather have real chavs turned princesses any day.
In fact, here’s the real winner:
x x x x
Watching: Mad Men…I sense an upcoming feature about this amazing show…
Activity of the week month: Tweeting about various things, which is totally not egocentric whatsoever.
Listening to: the sound of my own voice. N*Sync (no lie).
and most of the products look like fudge…
orner, LDN’s Tesco-Alfresco Finest, Lily Allen…
Hannah J Davies 