Tag: NME

My top ten and bottom ten of thousand and errm ten

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Hello reader, 

This week has marked the second birthday of my website – how time flies! Not so long ago, I was blogging about salad cream, Hello Kitty and how much I wanted to be Glinda from Wicked and drown in a sea of Barbie dolls (under an awful assumed name – the blog in existence is still on Google three years on) and now I am blessed with a blog which has been so much fun to write and hopefully to read as well. I digress – today you’re getting my TOP TEN as well as my BOTTOM TEN of the singles which 2010 served up. International readers: this list encompasses the best and worst of the year’s UK releases, but feel free to point me towards music in your loci via an email to hannah@hannahjdavies.com. 

Shall I start with the good news, or the bad? Oh, the bad, you say? Yeah, its probably better to end the year on a high, so I’ll kick off with the year’s 10 worst singles (again, I should stress, in MY opinion). 

I’m bad, I’m bad (really, really bad) 

10. All Time Low by The Wanted

Another manufactured and ethnically-diverse boyband to add to the scrapheap, The Wanted were about as wanted as herpes. In 2010, they hit the mainstream with their so-very-boring-and-predictable eponymous album and debut single “All Time Low”, which was so boring and predictable that the most interesting thing about it was a Coldplay sample (really saying something about the mundanity found therein). Five-part harmonies and a Powerpoint ref aside, the real question here is why The Wanted sound clinically dead during a song which is presumably supposed to be a soul-searching and string-laden piece of unforgettable pop (the type which N Sync were famed for delivering in the late 90s, for example). The question: how DO you get up from an all time LOW? Instead, the boys plumped for insightful lyrics (just kidding) and aforesaid Office lyric “I’m late for work, a vital presentation”, so much so that the song might as well have been called “All Time Low Supply of Meatball Marinara at Subway, Not Sure What To Do”. Not awful per se, but proof in an All Time Low for songwriting. The disappointing hype machine which was The Wanted’s debut single is in at number ten. Oh, and they weren’t even that fit. 

9. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry

I am a teenager. Nothing in this three minute, forty-eight second mess will ever appear in my dreams. I’m not the biggest Katy fan in the world, but this single combines three of my least favourite elements of noughties pop. One: breathless vocals which kind of sound like symptoms of some kind of respiratory condition. Two: a strongly repetitive nature. Three: boring lyrics to the power ten (see TheWantedGate above). Oh, and did I mention that Katy Perry sang it? Number nine in my worst songs of the year is this pile of faux-hormonal hogwash. 

8. Let’s Start Marching by The Agitator 

Proof that it really isn’t all of the money, glamour and Autotune which makes music tacky and worthless these days, The Agitator proves that you can make awful music from the comfort of your own home! Without the backing track, Let’s Start Marching could’ve passed for a folksy protest song and thus joined the en vogue folksy crowd of Mumford…, Little Comets, The Villagers et al. Instead, Derek Meins decided to throw together his shouty vocals with some beats which sound oddly like something from a “now you as well can play guitar”-type magazine circa 1997. Clumsy and turgid, which is a shame because the idea behind it is pretty current (what with The Man increasing uni fees against all of us poor students and taking away free books etc) and at least Meins has spoken to some teenagers lately, something which Teenage Dreamer Katy (see above) hasn’t done since the 90s.  Still, this tune ends up sounding like a hollow karaoke parody of what could have been the military-esque protest anthem we desperately needed this autumn/winter. For this reason, “Let’s Start Marching” troops galliantly into eighth place in my list of 2010’s worst songs. Stand at ease, Meins..

7. The Time (Dirty Bit) by Black Eyed Peas

For those of you who’ve just scrolled down the page a little, this is my list of the worst songs of the year. Let me repeat – worst songs of the year. “The Time (Dirty Bit)” initially sounded rather perplexing. What’s dirty about The Time, eh? What dirty secrets did The Time have to reveal to us? Was it a rude joke involving the word’s clock and cock? No – it turns out that The Time was the innocent party in all of this. The Time was in fact 80s smash hit and all-round brilliant party song “(I’ve Had) The Time Of My Life” from Dirty Dancing, which was dismembered beyond all recognition by Fergie and the gang, leading to the seventh worst song of the year. Will.I.Am should go back to being a character in Dr Seuss or whatever he used to do. Sax-sacrilige (the removal of the best sax solo ever, period) cannot and shall not be tolerated. Yours sincerely, the Jennifer Grey fanclub.  

6. I Need You Tonight by Professor Green (ft. Ed Drewett)

Another dreadful piece of sampling at number six. I put Ed Drewett’s name in brackets because he is not the problem here. At least he sings the main refrain of the sampled song without changing any words (Fergie above – take note) a few times before his awful brand of creative license slips in and he’s rhyming “me” with errm “me”. No, the problem here is brazen-as-a-Californian-raisin Professor Green, who raps and talks his way around Drewett’s choruses with his tale of pursuing an obviously disinterested female and how he is definitely a “pimp” rather than an “eeeejet”. Remember Pro, there’s only one letter between talking and stalking… Anyways, as somebody who took part in the BlackBerry Live & Lost tour and then bragged about owning an iPhone, I don’t think P.G Tips was exactly against this obviously corporate idea of sampling a band he’d obviously never heard of…and who noone can fully appreciate now. Cheers ‘mate’. 

5. Billionaire by Travie McCoy (ft. Bruno Mars)

A second graduate of the school of “featuring another guy to take the fall too”, Travis “Travie” McCoy drags Bruno Mars into this mess, and the drug-possessing, hat-wearing Mars falls flat on his face. Remember when mum said “if x jumped off a cliff, would you?”, well it seems as though B.M didn’t grow up around such useful idioms. A surfer-ish tribute to financial aspiration just doesn’t translate when you’re loaded…and boasting of making money off this very song. Tacky and disingenuous or just a great piece of irony? Either way, it’s my fifth worst song of the year…so there.

4. Airplanes by BOB (ft. Hayley Williams)

Call me anal but the word is aeroplanes. Aeroplanes. NOT airplanes. Hayley Paramore is unremarkable, and BOB, bless he tries to make a serious monetary point (unlike Travie above), even namechecking his ex-employers Subway. Even though the whole thing smacks of  labelmates-therefore-easy-collabo-junk, turns out they’re on different labels. Which begs the question of why you would go out of your way to make such a pointless, beiger than beige track. Even though Hayley’s part sounds like something which Avril Lavinge rejected a few albums back and which Kelly Clarkson co-wrote, it turns out that they actually wrote it especially. I won’t even start on part two of this muddled, passe nonsense…

3. Acapella by Kelis

A contender for worst song of the decade. So bad it is actually serving life in prison AKA I am never letting it out of my speakers again. Stop being “lo-fi” and gimmicky and invite us for a Milkshake at your yard, Kel! Remember the old days! Your fake eyelashes and “Rihanna hair” are about as cutting edge as a tape deck and gold body paint is best left to street performers… This mundane and monotone offering is tragically dated… so much so that I think I might actually be travelling back in time listening to it…Welcome back to my list of the best songs of 1987, where was I?! Cheapest hypnotherapy session of my life. 

2. Barbara Streisand by Duck Sauce 

Suicide is more attractive than listening this song. So catchy but so, SO wrong in a multitude of ways, this odious “disco choon” is responsible for hours of bad whistling. A plea to DJs in 2011: Leave. Barbie. Alone! Not even for a “worst singles everrrr” playlist in 2018. 

1. Christmas Lights by Coldplay 

The worst song of the year came along really late in the day…but boy is it bad. Hideously bad. Rule one of Christmas songs: do not use every cliche in the book. Rule two: forget the theme song from the movie Notting Hill. Rule three: do not let Chris Martin sing. Who didn’t get the memo? Coldplay (or “Radiohead for those constantly three years behind everyone else”) ruined my Christmas with this serving of shit (no) surprise and shit brandy butter. Horrid. “Night”, “fight,”, “light” conclude my verdict on this single. It’s so juvenile that perhaps Apple and Moses Martin should get a songwriting credit and a TV show called “Are You Smarter Than A 33 Year Old Rock Musician”. The answer it seems, would always be YES. 

The ones which made the grade, if you’re interested

10. Find Your Love by Drake 

Hello Drake, is it me you’re looking for?

9. Do It Like A Dude by Jessie J 

Not an original sound, but a fresh premise from young Jessica Cornish. Weirdly empowering anthem which takes white-girls-singing-like-black-guys far, far away from certain X Factor contestants and puts it in a gutsy but danceable form. Ok, so she’s not Emmeline Pankhurst, but this is a song for the girls. 

8. Bittersweet by Sophie Ellis Bextor

SEB can do no wrong. Cut-glass accent and strong beats prevail into the 2010s. Oh, and the song premiered on Gaydar radio, ergo she can still be niche and not have to do a huge TV launch covered in corporate sauce and tassels. Demure and polished. 

7. Hollywood by Marina and The Diamonds 

2010 was Marina’s year, and my seventh favourite song came from MATDs debut The Family Jewels. Deep and dark versus light and breezy, this track tackles some cliched material but keeps it current thanks to Marina’s unique vocal style and although I did find myself wondering whether it was a parody of this song, I’m pretty sure its not. Now I too need to invest in much American paraphenalia…

6. I Need Air by Magnetic Man

Filling a dubstep-shaped gap which I wasn’t sure existed before they came along, this project created an unforgettable song in 2010 and the sixth best of the year in my opinion. Magnetic Man; your name sounds like a toilet cleaner from the pound shop, but luckily you didn’t give me chemical burns. Quite the opposite. Featuring vocals from Angela Hunte, who wrote Empire State Of Mind, this is a perfect pop package which delectable dub roots courtesy of MM’s trio of Benga, Skream and Artwork who have been on the scene since the 90s.

5. One Time by Justin Bieber

Don’t look at me like that! Not like I fancy him or anything… Justin Bieber, the pre-pubescent sweetheart of singing fame brought skater-esque side fringes into the hair world once again this year. He’s a brilliant performer/entertainer who has divided opinion…once again, I do NOT have a soft spot for the Bieber, he just happens to be the singer who made the fifth best song of the year. Encompassing tweenage romance of the butterflies-sort (Katy P above – take note!) and maths (remember, its me plus you, no multiplication or division innuendo is allowed til his third album at least!), this track is bound to give you Bieber Fever. Or to make you really, really mad. Choose your own ending, reader. 

4. Ballad of Big Nothing by Elliott Smith 

Sneaky re-release in at number four. Phenomenal work of songwriting, phenomenal vocal performance and a stunning track from a sadly departed talent called Elliott Smith. A posthumous NME cover star in 2010, Smith recorded tons of tracks before his tragic death in 2001. BOBN is taken from compilation “An Introduction to Elliott Smith” (also 2010) and is an unconvincing goodbye to love which is driven by a cyclical, slowburning melody. A haunting brand of romantic poetry. 

3. I Think I Like It by Fake Blood

Fake Blood – I think I like you. Take me on a tour of bars in Paris, get me drunk, buy me drag wigs and let me do the conga home. Not to be confused with our tracks of the same name, I Think I Like It by Fake Blood is a self-indulgent sample-fest which is both kitsch and current. Disco past and disco present collide in a way which is decidedly disco future. Is that even possible? Yes. I win. 

2. Wonderful Life by Hurts

Eighties enough to seem Eighties. Noughties in delivery. Nineties in cult-status. Stuck somewhere between the past thirty years and yet timeless, Hurts prove that a well-made dance track can straddle a few genres, remain ambiguous and still pack a synth punch to match more “sophisticated” offerings (i.e.: Muse, who have tried a similar tack with poor results of late). This song is purposely old-school meets new, and Hurts don’t exactly conceal their influences *cough cough* Simple Minds *cough*. The drama of this track, however, makes it an undeniably great one. 

1. DRUMMMMMMMMMROOOOOLLLLL. My favourite track of the year is…

Whip My Hair by Willow Smith. 

Ok, so I MAY have blogged about this track before but that is only because it is incredible. How can one so young be this talented?! How can one so young be hitting the haters with this amount of passion and nonchalance?! I Just. Don’t. Get. It. My favourite song of the year was Whip My Hair, here it is with its shiny new video, au revoir, ta ta, see you in 2011…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx



80s special: October’s a fest

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Welcome to October! I may have backdated this by a few days as it was written in September..then my internet decided to crash! But here it is: my 80s fashion special, just in time for winter. It is mostly serious, but please remember that I don’t take myself too seriously and you can still find me in Primark. ALSO, following on from last month, you can find my interview with Neon Indian for The 405 here.

Head Over Heels for the 80s

Most of the time, I wish I’d been born just a few years earlier. Of course, I mean being born into a parallel 1980s where there was the internet, and no Berlin Wall… So, I’m going to write a seasonal guide to being an 80s child in the horrible 2010s, and if you dont care then I have this to say to you:

Truly the best song of the year. But anyways, I digress:

1 – Wearing an abstract print = edgy, but not ridiculous (please don’t think/say Nathan Barley). Vintage shops, the internet, parents and Urban Outfitters provide us with such wonderfully 80s threads – perfect for a trip to the library to do something 80s like read Bret Easton Ellis novellas and drink iced lattes. This is rebellious because of the possibility of *whisper it* getting water on a book. In all seriousness, though, this is a look which works. It doesn’t just work a 9-5 job to feed it’s kids, it also works overtime and moonlights as a dancer; I say this because it can carry any look into the evening. Guys can keep the jumper and switch from jeans to chinos, but girls can invariably have more fun: swap jeans for a net tulle skirt and thick winter tights, plimsolls for smart brogues, a daytime handbag for a Chanel-esque clutch, and the vintage knit is working so hard it will indefinitely be signed off from work and prescribed some pills.

– Some blogs dedicated to the subject :

http://www.frombetsywithlove.com/

http://vixenvintage.blogspot.com/

http://www.glamoursplash.com/

2 – Headbands = bringing hair together since ever. I know what you’re thinking. Men…wearing headbands? Since when has that been acceptable outside of European football? Then in September 2010, University Challenge brought us the University of the Arts London team, and a clever/fit guy in a headband, and suddenly all Serie A sins were forgotten.

Band of brothers: Walker (second right) shows why a male equivalent of Claire’s Accessories would be so, so right

American Apparel’s lamé headband takes the wearer from cute-girl-next-door with a penchant for aerobics, balayage and itsy-bitsy dogs (exhibit A)…

…all the way to the Nordic poledancing lessson which is Exhibit B.

Once again, American Apparel manage to tread the line  between Sweet Valley High and Richard Kern with aplomb.  Unfortunately the current story apropos of the chain is the fact that shiny headbands and hedonism haven’t saved it from imminent bankruptcy 😦

Also try:

Earmuffs. It’s almost winter, and earmuffs combine a headband with a vesatile space for cold, reddening lugholes. Etsy’s collection of homemade crafts is a great place to find individual pieces like Princess Leia ones…!

3 – 80s slogan wear = acceptable. If you can’t identify phrases such as “I carried a watermelon” and ” I want my MTV”, or you don’t know a My Little Pony from a Cabbage Patch Kid; you never laughed about the “groove” which Action Man has at his crotch and you’re not sure how to spell Bueller (Bueler? Buller?) then perhaps you should stay away from slogan wear, unless your lack of pop culture knowledge is some kind of ironic, Thatcherite nod, in which case, on you go…

80s clothes are the vestments of a marriage made in heaven. However, noughties rip-offs like this ‘ironic’ Trueblood slogan tee are not quite what the Doctor (Who) had back in mind during the 80s, when varsity prep become a religion.

Blood-y awful: HBO had more luck with the Flight of the Conchords clothing line

4 – Bouncy hair. Speaking as a curly haired girl, volume has never really been an issue. I went through a phase of wanting super-sleek hair…until I realised that a bouncy blowdry is super-flattering as well as being slightly less of a workout. AnnaLynne McCord does both 80s looks with ease; usually she carries off a super curly blonde do which is definitely a homage to bygone glamour, but a bouncy blowdry works equally well on her honeyed locks. Curlies: if you want 90, 210 ways to recreate the 80s (excuse the pun) then follow her lead.

In conclusion, don’t overdo the 80s look. Don’t try imitations, but instead go for new accessories and tees to compliment vintage outerwear. Go authentic and look for good quality and potential when buying pieces. Check boring things like the washing directions, especially on pieces which have been dyed or altered in any way from their original state, and don’t part with your cash for clothes which are truly ready for the bin.

Hallowee-ed be thy name

I’m probably too old for Halloween. However, this hasn’t stopped me pushing the 80s theme on and looking forward to the 31st…as well as compiling some great tunes to be enjoyed, whether or not your tounge is stuck firmly in your cheek:

– A Nightmare on My Street – The Fresh Prince and DJ Jazzy Jeff: the second Smith to feature this month, and gosh are they a talented brood. TFP and DJJJ used the same time signature for all of their collaborations, but I’m sure that it’s economical considering that Kings of Leon have made a career out of recycling. This beat makes Fruity Loops look like Mozart, but it works, and it manages to make Elm Street sound like Sesame Street. PS: this was played in the NME office two Halloweens ago, so it is definitely at the core of our culture.

– Psycho Killer – Talking Heads. This one starts off sounding like some banal driving CD and continues the weirdo-loner theme with the inclusion of some random lyrics in French and emotionless delivery courtesy of David Byrne. He was probably more psychotic when he was all wicked and lazy circa 2002, but the song is still hauntingly beautiful.

– Damien (all 3 parts) by DMX – D muses about the devil over a typically Def Jam track. Getting slowly more demented, this triptych includes his strange penchant for unneccessary narrative (see Party Up!’s religious verse), which is both comic and very, very unnerving. Here’s part one:

There are probably other Halloween songs, but none of them are as amazing as those…unless we’re including The Monster Mash or any “scary” Disney songs within these parameters.

Soooo, unless my internet decides to go loco, I will be posting just before this evil day occurs…probably from my kitchen where I’ll be dousing a crucifix in garlic and watching an 80s film.

Adios!

x x x x

The Paper Edition

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This is where my famous green typing ends for a while, and you get to sample The ‘Zine. It is a magical thing when you can use paper and a pen in a cross-promotional marketing strategy inspired by THE APOCOLYPSE OF PRINT. Here we go:

The Mona Cheryl by Hannah J 'Leonardo' Davies

*Have you got any thoughts on this month’s paper-licious issue, written on pretty ancient paper my mother used whilst at university I might add? Email me: hannah@hannahjdavies.com with your thoughts. A letters page might happen, y’know.

PS: Click here to watch something which touched my heart this Valentines. Vice Magazine’s VBS bring you, yes you, a Rule Britannia special six-part ‘Swansea Love Story’, focusing on addicts such as Lee Dennis, who graphically recounts his drug abuse and how he contracted Hep C in prison, as he rifles through his possessions in an Iceland bag casually. Desperate fights to get clean in a city which, according to its older inhabitants hasn’t changed…its the people who have. All in all, such deprivation, tales of sexual abuse and familial collapse are handled with class by director Leo Leigh sooo go watch. Plus, CNN thought it was noteworthy.

Listening to: JAM. I hope Liorah Tchiprout, the author of this pretty amazing playlist for use with Spotify, won’t mind me sharing it with you x x

End of my girl crush.

x x x x

Catching Up

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If you’ve just discovered the magical ramblings and professional articles then hello, I’ m Hannah and I’m a wordaholic. Welcome back if you’re one of those who has commented, critiqued (or just laughed at me) over the past 12 months.

So, its been almost a year since I kicked things off; using this site in part as a way to share my truly random findings, my best music, fashion and lifestyle pearls and also to link to my work elsewhere. It has been met with complimets and confusion, so much so that I think it might be time to reorganize things a bit, and redefine… something I’m not going to start now, because I have two months worth of material to just offload here…

So here we are, catching up with the calamity.

I’ve been told to write in black from now on by a load of very valued readers, but my green font and pink background are part of what makes me the ‘Schindler’s List girl’ of music websites. Yes, I know that film was about the Nazis. Maybe I should’ve just stuck with a comment about my Daria-like cynicism.


Anyways, I haven’t enirely been slacking off from writing in recent months. Firstly, I did another truly fantastic work placement at NME  which meant listening to lots of new music and helping out in the most beautiful building in London* where anything can happen! (*my view entirely).

Inevitably, there are mundane, everyday goings on (stalkerish post, terrible demos, arguments over deadlines), but not many work experience girls can say that they’ve got to swoon over The Drums in person, who popped by to record a session for NME Radio. The Kink(s)y pair were a Stroke(s) away from me (those were much better in my head)..I digress: I was three metres away from the sparkly Speakeasy-city charm of the polished-and-deconstrcted duo. They are a dream of 1950s/60s surf soul and self-conscious noughties prose and repition. Choirs and restless brass accompaniment courtesy of these beach boys put me at a night spent in passionate conversation on a Brooklyn fire escape in swirls of iced (latte) rain. I hate on the bougeousie far too much for my own good, but The Drums are romantic and possess – for fear of tarring them with the same brush as CSS, The Shins, Fleet Foxes – a future-forward cult cool on tracks such as Instruct Me which is usurped by mixtape grainy licks of grunge rhyme”Submarine”, which seems to cite The Polyphonic Spree and Placebo.

Oh yes, and they look like they should be working at A&F.

Proper highlight material there, as well as the fact that I got to present an opening for a Roland Eye Session (a new performance venture from the guys at Roland Amps/Keyboards) and attend an unforgettable session with hardcore sweethearts Failsafe.

© Kerrang/Bauer Group

Here are some pics from the Eye session:

The boys performed their Kerrang anthem ‘Only If We Learn’ as we glided over London in our spacious pod. Not only did they give a stunning, intimate rendition, they were also some of the nicest guys I’ve yet to meet. It was easy to cast aside the Metalhammer image of a 2000s metal band being a masked gang of animal-sacrificing Viking warriors, greasy-haired axe-wielders or a pre-pubescent suicide forum with fringes…and feel what I call ‘soulcore. Metal music, courtsesy of the soul. Fellow worky Anna and I couldn’t believe our luck, and typically we spent most of the journey snapping panoramic shots on our BlackBerrys and getting soundbites about the band’s next gig which was the following evening in Newport.

And our express tickets meant absolutely no queuing. Haa.

Check Failsafe out here, and keep your eyes peeled for the video of the session which will hopefully be up here very soon!

I haven’t been totally slacking from the writing side of things, however, and I reviewed the BBC Emerging proms for my friends over at Converse Music last month – you can find that review here !

By sheer coincidence, the gig I was reviewing (which, I unfortunately didn’t enjoy at all, see above!) was at the Roundhouse on the same night Failsafe supported Bowling For Soup. Would’ve rather been with the latter bands.

I also wrote a little piece on my favourite fanzine, The Pix, run by the incredible journalist, DJ, fashion goddess of i-D Hanna Hanra. Yes, I would love to meet her, and not just because we have the same name bar one letter.

This picture pretty much confirms her status as like, SUPERCOOL…like. Anyhow, here is what I wrote – flippantly and sans title – for her fabulous website.

Here’s a review of a single I did whilst at NME. Be warned…its not too pretty:

The Duke and the King

Summer Morning Rain (Loose Music/Universal)

What exactly does ergonomic mean in relation to keyboard design? That is a question I pondered as I struggled to capture a sense of creation behind the faceless and self-indulgent mundanity that is ‘Summer Morning Rain’. Optimistically billing themselves as glam, folk and soul, these Later alumni deliver no more than unremarkable join-the-dots guitar which borrows more than slightly from Tom Petty’s ‘Free Falling’. Cliché seeps from every apparently cultish Brooklynite pore via sweet but ultimately dry observations. If there is one noble thing about The Duke and the King, it is their ability to endow the masses with genuinely comforting, uncontroversial blues. However, they seem to be swaying in the middle of the same dead-end dirt track inhabited by tributes, buskars and other imitators…and for this they will never be the raconteurs an original fairytale of New York.

Don’t think I’ve ever written a positive single review.

I went on a journalism course this month, run by the brilliant Debate Chamber, which confirmed for me that I definitely want to keep slagging people off writing and commenting and thinking, and ultimately that I WANT TO BE A JOURNALIST! Very useful course either way, would really recommend it to anyone thinking of joining the media.

Anyways, I’m going to have to get some sleep, feeling pretty vile and in need of these

those:


(yeah, they’re limited edition Snoopy tissues I went crazy for aged 12, ok?!)

and this

(the beautiful Converse/heel combo I’ve seen about London town, possibly an asian copy of a catwalk style but they are buff…even if they smell of pvc and polystyrene, and the heels might break at an awkward moment resuling in severe injury/loss of feeling in your toes).

Merry Christmas .. I’ll be back to give a cynical overview of the world very soon.

Yours,

x x x x

Currently watching: The Thick Of It, Sat, 10:40, BBC 2. Hilarious, sharp, culture-rich, punchy even after the commercial success of cinematic spin-off In The Loop…if it were a person, I would marry it, if only for the witty banter and eventual inheritance.

Currently reading: Hippo Eats Dwarf by Alex Bosse…a detailed look at Urban Legends through the ages. Well-written, if not slightly alarmist with its gruesome tales of the link between human hair and soy sauce. Pass the bento bucket!

I’ll leave you with a image from my favvvvvvvvvourite website of the year, thisiswhyyourefat.com. Hot Apple Bacon Turnover With Icing is wrong, dirty and makes me so very hungry.

Grands bisous.

Robin Hood frees The Dark Knight in Torrent City + more

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Rant one: Yes commenters, I can see your email addresses and you don’t even realise!

This reminds me of when I was told during my work experience at NME not to handle some of the weirder fanmail that the writers receive.

Q: Slated some shitty four piece from Dagenham?

A: Yes? Here’s a box of my excrement, then.

Lovely. ♥

Anyways, here’s the gorgeous and articulate (and married) Johnny Depp…I love him sooo much that I’m going to post a random and wholely pointless picture of him right….here…

depp

Anyways, yesterday I mentioned Monsieur Depp unintentionally whilst telling you about the fantastic Sweeney Todd soundtrack, which you can buy online or steal if you’re one of the people interested in something I will cover in a sec.

Today I watched the psychological cat-and-mouse antics of his characteristically offbeat 2004 offering  ‘Secret Window’ which was actually far, far better than I’d imagined it would be, given the awful reviews which surrounded it at the time of release.

It was panned, quite frankly, but if you’re into Donnie Darko, The Butterfly Effect or maybe just Psycho then give it a try…its a 3-star thriller.

Currently listening to:

I know, I’m a horrible middle-class bitch aren’t I? What about all those poor people who’ve lost their jobs, right? Where’s my sense of socialism and cameraderie for the lower classes?

Actually I think tact is 70% off at Poundland this week.

Currently reading:

the Independent’s Life section. Startlingly interesting today, actually, what with an online piracy article (aXXo who?), plenty of stuff about MySpace (remember them?) making a movie, a hilarious problems page, some subjective fashion advice (I just bought a heap of tartan and am now being told to throw it away basically) and more (who knew that symbolics.com is the oldest website out there, eh? etc)

The irony:  just read about the pirating catastrophe online,  yet I watched ‘Secret Window’ online today, with dodgy kanji subtitles aplenty…they didn’t marr Depp’s beauty however…ahhh…

*Following on from my other link yesterday, here is more satire and goodness for the soul. Yes, I am mixed race, therefore I can do this and not get in too much trouble.

Bisous; laugh a little and play nice! I’m off to listen to endless euthanasia debates on LBC ‘cos I’m cool like that

hannahsig1

x x x x


NME.com debut

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Howdy…now there’s a word familiar to WordPress users!
More subliminally indulgent than Yvan Eht Nioj, I have been persuaded by the voices which lurk on the internet to leave Blogger and come to WordPress. So here’s some work from Summer 2008 which I’ve been meaning to share out here. I had the pleasure of meeting Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man along with my matey Katherine whilst we whiled away the summer at NME.
The full article is as follows, although I do prefer the edit, which is here on the fabulous NME.com!

    Interview with Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man – Katherine Hardy and Hannah Davies caught up with the band during the recording of their new Opus.

Words: Hannah Davies, Images: Katherine Hardy

Katherine and I have been asked to come to a converted synagogue (now a recording studio) in Bethnal Green to meet up with heavily punctuated London four-piece Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man.
Frederick Blood-Royale (the fittingly eloquent stage name of the articulate Frontman Frederick Macpherson) has been joined in this band by fellow ex-Les Incompétents members Thomas Gunnzs and Jareth. They reprise their roles here on bass and guitar respectively, with newbie Eduard Quarmby on drums. We conduct the interview around a wooden dining table in the kitchen. They’re crowded around the G2 crossword collectively guessing at words, minus Jareth who is lost in the, errm, Labyrinth of a building.

This seems an apt venue for a band who reference so much religious and mythological imagery. A track from their first Opus is entitled ‘Thanatos’ after the Daemon personification of Death and Mortality in Greek mythology. But they still manage to feel like the achingly cool Sunday school in the attic. The band are here to record their second Opus – a new term for the approximately ½ hour EPs they will be releasing every six months.
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“Everyone’s complaining that no-one’s buying music anymore, but no-one’s trying to find new ways of putting out music. We can release more consistently, but maybe not as much.” Fred says. He admits that this style of release won’t get them into the charts, but that doesn’t really seem to be his objective. He doesn’t like the structure of release these days. We all laugh for a while about the obligatory Justice remix which I suggest is the norm nowadays, but Macpherson isn’t led off course for long. But he is witty, suggesting far worse outfits than Justice for a remix.

There is the issue of pricing as well…will they be doing a give away à la ‘In Rainbows’?
Not quite, but he tells us that the new 30 minute Opus will only be five or six pounds and even cheaper on download.
FM: “I just think basically people need to feel like they’re not being cheated when they’re buying music. I’m not for illegal downloading but I can understand someone being charged £12.99 for 10 tracks of turgid music and some shoddy booklet and they know they’re going to have to wait another 2 years before the next album, it makes you feel slightly disenchanted.”

He’s not too picky about format, as his beloved religious artwork will still be available with downloads. This hard-sell is not because of the money, he assures us, but just because he wants to be able to make music again, and that will “require people to buy it…or I’ll get a job at H&M”. Funnily enough I can’t imagine him flogging slim-fit shirts at Brent Cross if it all goes belly up.

As for the material itself, Macpherson comments that “This is darker yet also lighter [than our past projects]…like a child buried underground, but its parents know it’s still alive.” Hopefully the infanticide was a joke.
He happily contradicts himself as he speaks of the band being “less poppy but also the most poppy stuff [he’s done yet], more rocky, more alternative [than his previous bands].”

But Ox.Eagle seem serious enough about their music. Collaborations, musically or otherwise, on the horizon?
“Werner Herzog… and Phil Redmond,” Fred says, definitely. The group agree both times, and although it’s often hard to tell whether Fred’s being sarky, he seems to have a genuine obsession. “Just put Jordache down, NME readers will understand” he assures us. As he muses on how he is the proud owner of the VHS one-offs to Brookside, it is easy to sense his lighter side coming through. The child buried underground is one he seems to have borrowed from a Brookie storyline, too.

Despite all this weirdness, and the fact that they want to have a secret launch party for their second Opus at a branch of Chariots Roman Baths (not a Roman bath at all but a gay sauna), Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man seem a remarkably interesting, and interested, collective.

• The second Opus from Ox.Eagle.Lion.Man is due out later this year on Transgressive.
Interview conducted at Empire Studios, 33a Wadeson St, E2.
Check OELM out at myspace.com/oxeaglelionman