Reading 09: Hannah J Davies is waste…

Hannah J Davies was too busy living it up at Reading festival to prepare a blog this month. In actual fact, she almost came to a terrible end during Bloc Party, who obviously don’t understand the meaning of party. Their demeanours are most like Bloc Funeral.

D

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n g    2009 MMIX.

Radiohead were amazing of course…in that offbeat, half-caring, underdone, overdone, thoughtful way that only they and a few other bands can lay claim to. It was an amazing experience, nonetheless: Hannah J Davies’ first Reading festival…breathing in dusty air and smoke, breathing out awe and idolatry as she watched her dream headline act. Thom Yorke’s Kermit-style croak of “wassup” did little to question his place as the awkward but ultimately genius Master of The Universe.

Anyways, enough about her, she is waste and didn’t prepare a blog for her readership. Let’s turn our attention to 3OH!3 instead, whose straggly swagger was current. “I’m Not Your Boyfriend Baby” separated the men from the boys, although ironically there was some plenty of couple action during the tune.

Master Shortie infected our minds with his subliminal Demon Headmaster promotion of – in no particular order – his tour, album and trainer line. Phew! His cover of Prince Charming by Adam and the Ants is standout, and rather memorable if not ironic.

Amateur H had an amazing day, even though she was almost crushed and owes her life to three gentlemen who aided her in crowdsurfing out of aforementioned Bloc Mortuary. She sustained a twisted ankle and a few bruises, and lost a friend who she has consequently not seen since but who got out of the lion’s den alive.

Reading was eyeopening – a small, self-sufficient world just beyond a motorway and a McDonalds where anyone – from former teachers to friends of friends of friends could be found. Communities were formed, but alas Amateur H was not part of any particular one, going only for one day, and – primarily – to see T Yorke and co. deliver classics such as Karma Police alongside …wait for it… two new songs, one of which had never been heard before! So much so that I now don’t remember what it was called, but boy was it good to be involved in that tenuous make-or-break moment.

It was a success, and lame claims to fame include seeing Edith Bowman’s hair and shoulder pads sans neck, floating through a glass window, and standing 10ft from Vampire Weekend’s drummer at Radiohead. That is lame, based on a VP set which was a happily mediocre crashcourse in mediocrity. Although Ezra has to be in the top 10 musical Jewish hotties…way above Simon & Garfunkel at any rate.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs are given a resounding Yeah Yeah Yes by this writer after an amazing set…and Karen O’s pointlessly yet highly important costumery. A true, crazy legend.

So home we went, with the search for our missing friend over and a train which featured artbitches snorting cocaine (literally) and a bunch of perving wideboys. I’m sure the french people would’ve been of no help whatsoever had the rapey atmosphere exceeded its 12/10 mark.

So, alls well that ends well…and I’ve had enough music to last me a good few weeks.


hannahsig1

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…Artrocker coverage for Underage Fest!!

Just a quick one to tell you about my second appearance on Artrocker.tv!

Click here to read my highlights of the Underage fest, along with some from fellow writer Jasmine Sherman!

There will be a whole lot more to read when the FULL REVIEW is published in issue 94 of Artrocker Magazine, out on September 5th and available in WH Smiths, Borders and more!

Til then…

Me & Kai Fish (Mystery Jets) by Cathryn Innocent

Kai Fish (Mystery Jets) and I by Cathryn Innocent

hannahsig1

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I Spy July

Evening readers, and welcome to my monthly cocktail of filth and stories about the inside of d-lister’s noses.  I’m sure there’s no incriminating white fluff up there, girl who won Pop Idol in 2005 etc etc.

Anyways, it struck me as odd that I’ve literally never seen a celebrity doing normal stuff like shopping and drinking meal replacement shakes, even though I hang out all over London like a lost urchin with a curly mullet. So, I decided to ask some other people to email me with what they’ve seen celebrities doing, and I think I have done better than NOW magazine (seriously, the best they had last week was two BB6 people or something shopping for sausage rolls at Greggs. Guffaw.)

From: Chiponmyshoulder@noparentalsupervisonorguidance.uk.net

Dear Hannah,

John Frieda was giving bowl cuts to kids on my ruff lundun estate and insuring them that they look just like Ziggy/Zammo, just sans the frizz…All the working class kitchen sink grit of his Polish ancestry shines through…NO. I tried to just say no but free haircuts only happen twice: once from publicity-hungry celebrities and the other in the Army. I’m too young to die, so I chose the ‘accept offer from Sheer Blonde creator’ option. I am going to be called soft forever, but thats ok because I work at B&Q and my sister’s bastard son was box 16 on Deal or No Deal once…so I must be straight.

(I actually think he was very brave to email us with this picture…after all, there is a place where people with teeth like his often end up…it starts with Beachy and ends with Head)

From: Taylormomsen@chacecrawfordtaylormomsenleightonmeester.com

Good day Hannah,

Richard Bacon was eating errrm a bacon sandwich outside a synagogue in North London. Incensed our group of friendly Jewish lawyers…I would’ve confronted him there and then but we must be home before sundown on a Friday (ready for Jonathan Ross presumably).

(Another brave, brave soul who – rather than confront Bacon on his crime for fear of sinning – actually decided to call a lawyer and try to settle away from court for a great deal of his assets (flat, car, signed poster of Rachel Stevens). Good on you Mr’s Chace, Crawford , Taylor , Momsen, Leighton and Meester).

From: lindsaylohan@

icantgetlaid.nu

Hiii Hannah ❤

Saw your best UK export since like, the Queen, that sexy Cat Deeley snogging a butch woman in LA…no one noticed because said butch woman was probably C.D’s effeminate identikit lover JACK HUSTON. I’m definitely not jealous that she is going out with someone who is 89% Johnny Depp and 11% Morticia Addams, because I am a bonafide lesbian. No 89% men allowed! A woman needs a man like a fish needs a tricycle! xXx ps: that said, any directors I can hang with y’know, get me some film roles maybe? Ten year hiatus sucks when your Coke Fund runs dry, eh?

(Good choice, Linz <3, don’t think you’ve really been the same since you did Freaky Friday. Maybe it was that time you spent as Jamie Lee-Curtis…)

From:

oh_my_god_twilight_sucks_even_though_i_stalk_rpattz

@ironichaircutz.tv

Hey Harriet J Davids i super love your website…I’m a 13 year old girl who is definitely not a 50 year old man LOL. Anywho, KStew and TLautz buying garlic and rabbits paws and copies of the Mormon biblein this totally hip and uber ironic shop called like yeah I dont remember because I picked heroin and Oreos for breakfast. Bad choice. But like, you should keep yourself safe before an interview with a vampire and such, bbz…sorry, I hear my goddamn blackberry… must dash, it could be one of the girls from The Hills, i put my PIN on a facebook group and have been so popular ever since LOLZ – *gunshot*

(It’s funny how much she looks like a stock image…maybe she is a model…or more likely she works in a video store like one of the sad kids in Scream, desperately downloading Neve Campbell screensavers for special time. I like inappapropriate italics.)

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ANYWAYS, moving swiftly on – THANKS AGAIN – Cathryn Innocent & I have started an exciting, brand new, never seen before website in the past month!

BELLEJAM.com is a place where us two crazy gimps hope to engage and entertain our readership with photojournalism, reviews, etc…its a HANNAHJDAVIES offshoot so I know that if you like this, you will LOVE Bellejam.com!!

Log on if only for my review of the J Depp/C Bale film Public Enemies!


(Image: C. Innocent)
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Bands I’ve seen – Jul 09 – o2 wireless festival, london; featured great performances from Kanye West (electriying even solo) and the Noisettes among many others. Fun day out, got plenty of freebies and had Domino’s from a van…

(Fan photography by myself – Shingai from the Noisettes shortly before a massive wardrobe malfunction rendered her indecent for a period. My friend and I were pretty close up as you can see…singing along and invariably gaining cigarette burns and beer in our respective hair [especially during Calvin Harris].  All good fun though…)

Ken Kobayashi band (see here for my interview with the man himself) in Brixton, along with The Thirst and others…really buzzing gig which also featured some cheeky chappy burlesque).

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+++ MORE MORE MORE: coming soon when the Bellejam.com girlies (Cathryn and myself) go to the Underage Festival with  !!! I can’t wait to chat artistes with Santo/igold and enjoy some Dubstep from Rusko & Caspa!I’ll keep posting after the festival!

Til next time, bonne nuit (yes, I teach French on the side)

hannahsig1

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PS: massive massive huge congratuwelldone to this woman:

…if you’re not sure who she is and you are under the age of 30,  then you maybe you should consider a career in caving…i mean that in the nicest way possible for such a facety remark. K to the Rissi!!